Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles
by Joking611
Summary: Shorts and sprints that aren't part of my Cari'ssi'mi series, but are part of that story. Unfortunately, chapters are not in chronological order. (FF doesn't allow story grouping).
1. Talent

Summary:  
Shepard's driving does not impress her squadmates.

Notes:  
For the Mass Effect Sunday Sprint Drabble on 12 Mar 2017  
Prompt: "The high pitched whine was growing in intensity..."  
Written as part of the "Cari'ssi'mi" continuity

The high pitched whine was growing in intensity.

"You've grazed the lava again, Shepard. You have to shut down and let the self repair protocol run before the damage gets any worse."

"Keelah, how can she dodge every last volley of Geth fire, but still hit each lava pool," Tali muttered to herself. "It must be a talent."

The muted comment was not quiet enough it seemed, given the glare from the commander before she responded. "I can hear the alarm, Garrus. I just want to get to the top of that ridge first. We have to make sure no Geth can sneak up on us while we can't defend ourselves."

"So you want to put us at the top of a hill where we'll be line of sight for any enemy from here to the horizon?" The Turian did a poor job of hiding his amusement. "There's nothing on scanners. We should be good for a few minutes."

"Fine," hissed the commander through clenched teeth as she disengaged the drive. "But this is the last of our omnigel. If you want any more repairs you'll be doing it the old fashioned way."

"We wouldn't have used so much Shepard, if you would have avoided the lava. This is the third time we've had to stop for damage."

"It's a bloody tank, Tail. I should be able to drive it through anything!"

Tali and Garrus just looked at each other knowingly. Most of Garrus' work on the Normandy had devolved to just keeping the Mako functional. The vehicle had only been deployed four times so far, and he had already needed to completely rebuild several primary systems. Therum was the machine's first planetfall on a Council mission, and so far the level of damage seemed consistent with previous deployments.

"The repair protocol is almost complete, Shepard. It looks like we'll still have a little omnigel left." He looked up. "Not that you should take it as a challenge."

"Har, har," replied the commander. "You must have been the funniest Turian in C-Sec." She engaged the drive and again started up the hill, slightly more carefully this time.

They'd only driven three more minutes when the trail ended at a pyramid of boulders. When Shepard started backing up to change their angle of approach, Tali reached out and placed her hand on the Human's shoulder.

"Don't try it Shepard, there's no room. If the boulders stay in place, we'll roll into the lava," she pointed out the flow to their left. "If they move, we'll be buried." She indicated her scanner. "We aren't far from Liara's position, according to the navpoint. We'll just have to continue on foot."

Shepard turned from her console, and ended up looking directly at Garrus. His expression seemed to demonstrate curiosity as to if she was going to try scaling the rockfall anyway.

"Fine," she sighed. "Everyone out. Tali's right. It isn't much further." She unsealed the hatch.

"Aren't you going to put your helmet on Shepard?" Helmets were a foregone conclusion for Tali

"We already have to walk the last kilometer, and face however many Geth we'll encounter between here and the mine. I'd rather not add to my aggravation."

She waited for a response. When none seemed forthcoming, she continued.

"This mission's probably a bust anyway. I haven't even met Benezia's daughter yet, but she's already managed to annoy me. What the hell is she doing out here in the middle of nowhere? It's just going to piss me off if I have to wear my helmet too." She looked again to Tali and Garrus for potential commentary.

"Let's go."

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
Early ME1

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	2. No Stopping It

Summary:  
It was already too late

Notes:  
For the Mass Effect 100 Word Drabble Challenge on 26 Jan 2017  
Prompt: "There was no stopping it..."

The Normandy had passed through the relay. The team was willing, skilled, strong.

The drop was only a few hours away. Shepard was dressed. She was prepared. Ilos would be waiting.

A few steps to the mess for some coffee, check in with her squad, and she'd be ready for the mission.

But she hadn't moved. Instead, she was staring at the beautiful blue face partially covered by her blankets. The perfect arms she'd been so recently entangled in.

The silence allowed her to hear Liara breathing.

She sighed. She was falling in love.

There was no stopping it now.

* * *

A/N: Assumptions here include:  
Early ME1

Shepard is:  
Colonist / Vanguard / War Hero

As always, feedback is welcome and desired.


	3. Shattered

**Summary:**  
Joker can't admit defeat.

 **Notes:**  
For the Mass Effect 100 Word Drabble Challenge on 6 Apr 2017  
Prompt: "like glass"

"I can save her!"

"The Normandy's lost. Going down with the ship won't change that."

He didn't reply. He wouldn't fail her, like he'd failed… her. The Normandy wouldn't be another casualty, not like Ashley.

He was jerked to his feet, the pain indicating a broken or sprained arm. He fought, but she was too strong.

Perspective whirled as he was flung into the pod, flames erupting around him.

"Shepard!" He called, when he realized she hadn't joined him.

The pod ejected. Shepard spiraled away, leaks visible.

"Shepard…" he trailed off, his heart shattering like glass.

He'd failed all three.


	4. Vigilant

**Summary:  
** Liara's time on Illium was sometimes more treacherous than she knew.

 **Notes:  
** For the Mass Effect 100 Word Drabble Challenge on 10 Mar 2017  
Prompt: "Hesitate"

* * *

'Sigh.'

Another merc was following her Liara, either trying to ingratiate herself to the Broker, or perhaps just to collect the substantial bounty.

Once Liara turned the corner, the pursuing merc found herself encased in stasis. Not that Liara needed the help.

Still, no one messed with her girl. Messages had to be sent. She wasn't cruel. No reave, no prolonging the child's suffering.

The maiden's eyes were silently pleading at Aethyta's approach. The matriarch shook her head. The kid was maybe 200. Bad choices.

She put her pistol to the maiden's forehead, finger on the trigger.

She didn't hesitate.


	5. Necessities

**Summary:**  
Shepard offers to get a few essentials for Liara

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Tuesday 8/1's Prompt: Fluff

* * *

Dr. Chakwas placed her tea on her desk with a with glance to the door at the rear of the medbay. She considered waiting for a few minutes. There was no mission today, having docked for resupply, and she wondered if the young Asari who had taken up residence in her former storage room would be up early. She hoped so. Ever since Liara had stopped being quite so skittish aboard the Normandy, Chakwas had found her company to be a charming addition to the morning. She smiled as she considered the time spent with her guest was also somewhat educational. She had learned more about Asari from the young doctor in a handful of weeks than she had during nearly two decades in the service.

Her attention was diverted when the hatch to the medbay opened, and the physician was taken aback when in walked the object of her consideration. Liara was already dressed for the day in one of her science jumpsuits, and the fact that she carried her shower bag told Chakwas that the archaeologist was returning from the women's head at an unusually early hour.

"Good morning dear," the medical officer greeted Liara as she walked past to place the bag in her "cabin" before coming back to Chakwas. "You're up early." She indicated the cup she's already poured for herself. "Would you like to join me for some tea before breakfast?"

Liara breezed past before circling back, following a path too convoluted to be called pacing, yet seemingly unable to hold still. "No, thank you Karin," she replied, wringing her hands as she walked. "I am waiting for Shepard."

' _No surprise there,'_ Chakwas hid a smile behind a sip. "Oh?" She offered, waiting for Liara to elaborate.

"I know that we will only be docked at the Citadel for a few hours, but the commander offered to take me shopping for essentials."

Chakwas felt a sudden pang of guilt. She was glad to see Liara starting to come out of her shell somewhat, and she'd been even more happy to see her and the commander spending time together. She was healthy, and her fitness was improving. The physician suddenly realized that she'd never pressed Liara when asking about her needs. She'd always taken the maiden's denials at face value. After several weeks aboard it should have been obvious that Liara was making due with what was available to her, up to and including a single pair of jumpsuits.

The doctor was just about to offer her assistance as well when the medbay doors parted to reveal Shepard.

The commander stopped just short of crashing into Liara, who was unexpectedly close to the hatch. Her eyes panned up and down the Asari for a moment, as if verifying that she was suitably attired. "You're ready?" The commander was as eager as Liara it seemed, already turning back towards the hatch.

"Yes, Shepard," Liara replied as she fell in behind the commander.

"Outstanding." She looked back over her shoulder, verifying that Liara was following. "We're going to have to hurry. We only have five hours or so until we leave for Feros…" The rest was cut off by the closing hatch.

Chakwas sat down to start her day, wondering what would transpire between the two over the next five hours.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara was practically giddy with the idea of stocking up on some necessary consumables, as well as the idea of no longer having to wash an outfit every day. As they rode the elevator on the endless descent from the docks, she turned to Shepard.

"Where are we going first?"

Shepard was all smiles. "Not far at all. These last couple of missions paid out pretty well. I'm going to get you all kitted out."

The archaeologist wasn't sure what that meant, so she just nodded in return. Shepard's penchant for idiom had a propensity to challenge her translator.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

When they finally stepped off the elevator, Liara started towards the elevator at the opposite side of the atrium, when she was stopped by Shepard's hand on her wrist.

"Over here, Liara." Shepard pulled Liara towards the hallway to their right.

"We are not going to the Presidium?" Confusion was obvious in her voice.

Shepard shook her head as her smile grew even larger than before. "This is better."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara's confusion hadn't lifted when Shepard practically dragged her into the C-Sec Requisitions office.

The Turian C-Sec officer behind the desk looked up as they entered. "Hello, Commander," he offered in recognition. "Here to browse the rare stocks?"

"Special order," the commander replied. "Pistol. HMWP X with a custom grip for my friend here," she nudged Liara. "It should have arrived yesterday."

The officer's eyes narrowed. "This is highly irregular. Only Spectres are allowed access to the select offerings."

"And I'm a Spectre. You're selling me the pistol. She's a member of my squad, and I'm equipping her with it. Anything in your regs about that?"

"No… Commander."

"Great." She flashed another grin at Liara. "Let me know when he's done fitting that grip to your hand." She tilted her head towards the room to their right. "I'll be looking at the guns." When Liara didn't reply, she continued. "Don't let him rush, make him get it right." She strode off into the other room.

The officer stood up and reached out to the confused maiden. "We'll need to start with a quick mold of your hand…"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

They had just finished when Shepard returned. "Oooo," she exclaimed as she reached to take the pistol from Liara. "It's perfect!"

She handed the pistol back to the maiden. "How does it fit?"

Liara wrapped her hand around the grip, leaving her finger off the trigger as she'd been taught.

"That's so beautiful," the commander whispered.

"Shepard?"

Shepard blinked as she looked up to Liara. "He did a great job. It looks like a superb fit." She grabbed Liara's wrist again and started for the door as Liara slid the weapon into the box it came in.

"Where are we going now, Shepard?" Asked Liara breathlessly.

"You don't just keep a gun like that in a box, you shoot a gun like that!"

"What?"

"We're going to the firing range!" Shepard dragged Liara up the steps.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara's hand was sore when they finally left the firing range, but the "special instruction" that Shepard had provided helped make it worth it.

They had less than two hours remaining of their time on the Citadel, and she was determined to make the most of it.

"Are we going to the Presidium now, Shepard?" She asked hopefully.

"Wards," came a distracted response as Shepard looked at her omni-tool. "We have to hurry though."

Liara sighed. She wasn't going to be interested in much of the clothing available on the wards, but she should be able to pick up some self care products, as well as some fresh foods. That was something at least. "Who are you meeting at the wards?"

"Armorer. I got a line on a Light Colossus X, and it should be ready."

Liara sighed again as Shepard pulled her along to the elevator.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"Neria," Shepard called when they entered the nondescript shop.

An older Turian woman came out of a back room. "Shepard?"

"Yeah, it's me. You have my armor? Sorry, but I'm in a rush."

The Turian came out from behind her counter and gave the commander a brief hug, leaning down to do so. "You're always in a rush." She looked the commander in the eye. "Hadn't heard from you in a while. I was surprised when your order came in."

Shepard inclined her head in Liara's direction. "I needed an upgrade for my friend, and you always were the best. I've never had armor not chafe until you fitted me."

Neria turned to take in Liara. "Hello there. I'm Neria." She nodded to Liara. "Any friend of Shepard's and all that."

"Liara T'Soni" replied Liara, not certain why she included her family name with this obviously informal Turian. "You know Shepard?"

"Sure," she shrugged nonchalantly. "She saved me from a pirate attack about eight, nine years back."

Shepard put her arm behind her neck. "I was just the squad leader…"

"Anyway," the Turian continued as if Shepard hadn't spoken, "Who would have that that a Turian would be saved by a Human? I told her if she ever needed armor, there wasn't anyone better." She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. "I never thought she'd actually take me up on it."

Liara found herself giggling at that. "Shepard can be… unexpected."

The Turian flared her mandibles in return, and then became all business. "All right kid, let's go get this armor on you and see how good those measurements Shepard sent me were. If they're close enough, maybe we can get this done today." She made for the back room again, with a "follow me" motion to Liara.

Liara turned to Shepard and received a shooing motion in return. "Go on. I'll be right here."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard responded with a long, low whistle when Liara emerged in her new armor.

"How is it?"

Liara held her arms out from her sides as she spun around. "It feels different. Heavier than my current armor, yet it is easier for me to move in it. I feel more comfortable moving around, like I am not worried that I will run into something accidentally."

"That's a sign of poorly fitting armor," offered Neria from the doorway.

Shepard turned her attention to the Turian. "How'd it go?"

"Those measurements were perfect. Usually I prefer to fit Turians. All you have to do is adjust to the carapace, and you're done. No worry about abrasion, or leaving expansion room for respiration. Asari are as bad as Humans with their expanding torsos. Tight enough that it doesn't rub, and you can't breathe. Loose enough that you can breathe, and you get chafing. Fit closely enough that you don't chafe, and suddenly you're pinching something, all those soft bits you people have flopping around." She shook her head. "Whoever took her measurements did a great job. The armor fit like a second skin as soon as I unpacked it, no adjustment required."

Liara looked confused. "No one took my measurements."

Neria looked at Shepard. "Then where did those measurements come from?"

Shepard found the floor to be suddenly fascinating. "I eyeballed it."

The Turian threw her head back and laughed. "Friends. Sure." She shook her head before turning to Liara. "If you'd like to change out of that, I can have it couriered over to the docks in time for your departure. Neria returned to her back room, still laughing softly.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Chakwas looked up from dictating a report when Liara walked into the medbay. The maiden strode purposely across the bay, before slamming a box onto one of the tables.

"Problems my Dear?" Liara seemed to be one frustrated Asari.

She whirled on the doctor. "Shepard! We had five hours to get supplies, and all we purchased was weapons!"

Karin attempted to ascertain the extent of Shepard's transgression. "So, of the things you needed…"

"Nothing! No clothing, no crest lotion, no eezo supplements. We never even made it to the Presidium!"

They both turned when the hatch to the medbay opened again, revealing Shepard and several transport crates.

"There you are!" Shepard grabbed a crate and brought it into the medbay. "You disappeared so fast I didn't get a chance to ask you to help with the crates." Her smile started to fade as she looked from one doctor to the other. "What's wrong?"

Karin stood as she glanced at Liara, before deciding it was safer that she answer. "Liara was just telling me about your shopping trip, Commander."

Instantly Shepard's smile returned as she turned to look at Liara. "Wasn't it awesome?" She handed Chakwas the crate she was carrying as she turned back to collect another.

"What's in the crates, Commander?" Asked Chakwas in confusion as she placed the one she was given on the floor.

"Just dull stuff," replied Shepard with a shrug. "Consumables. Asari rations. Mostly military, but some fresh fruits and vegetables." She placed her crate next to the one she'd given Chakwas, as she went back for a third. "A dozen science jumpsuits, toiletries and personal care items. There's a list in one of these boxes."

Liara stared at them both, incredulous. "Shepard, how…?"

The commander tilted her head in confusion as she brought in another crate. "How what?"

"How did you know what to purchase?"

"Last time the Council called, I asked Tevos to connect me with the Asari embassy when we were done. I talked to their chief of security about what I'd need for an Asari crewmember aboard a Human ship. She sent me a list and I ordered it on the extranet." She looked from one to the other. "Well I didn't want to waste shopping time on the trivial things. We'd miss out on the important stuff!" She said defensively.

"Excuse me, Commander." Chakwas made her way to the hatch and exited the medbay.

Shepard was sure she could hear laughter before the hatch closed.


	6. Bad Turian

**Summary:**  
Garrus was always going to end up with a Human

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Wednesday 8/2's Prompt: Rare Pairing 

* * *

Garrus Vakarian had had a hard life.

Not overly hard, at least not up until the last few years. No harder than usual for a Turian. His training, his military service, those were a minimum expectation. There had been other, harder events in his life. His mother's illness, the relationship with his father, the conflicts with his superiors in C-Sec. Those were all circumstances that he had never expected to face, battles he'd never thought he'd have to fight. He freely admitted he was a "bad Turian".

In the face of adversity however, he had never stopped moving forward, never ceased to do what he thought was right.

That behavior had lead him directly into other hardship. Saren. Cerberus. Omega.

He didn't regret anything he'd done, never lamented the results of his choices. He embraced the hardship in his life, the way it had forged him, made him stronger. Strong enough to stand beside Shepard. Strong enough to face the Reapers. Even, spirits preserve us, strong enough to earn his father's respect.

He felt the bed move beneath him. A bed much more forgiving than the floor of the battery. A soft murmur to his left punctuating a leg drawing itself across his thighs. A pale, soft leg. A human leg. A leg that positioned itself perfectly between the spurs on his own.

Soft was alright too, he reflected.

"You asleep?" Allers' voice was as soft as the rest of her. Soft enough not to wake him had he still been asleep. Soft enough to entice him to fall back into slumber. He fought the urge.

"No," he he finally replied.

She snuggled in closer. "What does Shepard have you doing today?"

That was presumptuous, but a lot of things about this Human were. She was pushy, nosy. Always in everyone's business. Not in the fun way either.

This was all Shepard's fault.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

 _"Here, you should take these." Shepard sat down next to him in the mess._

 _Garrus looked down at the datapads that Shepard had pressed into his hands. Pads with titles like "Human / Turian Relationships", "Multispecies Communication", and even worse, "Health and Sex Guide, Levo and Dextro Can Have it All!"_

 _Garrus looked at Shepard in shock as he tried to hand the books back. "Shepard, I…"_

 _Shepard looked back like she was going to punch him. "Not me, you idiot! Allers! The two of you have been doing the googly eyes thing for weeks now. She isn't going to wait forever."_

 _True, she would probably be too impatient for him to make the first move, considered Garrus. "Wait. Why do you even have these?" It couldn't be what he was thinking. Liara would kill them both, and she'd kill him slowly._

 _The spectre didn't seem embarrassed at all. "They're from Mordin."_

 _Now he was even more confused. "Mordin?"_

 _Shepard shrugged. "He was just trying to help, back before we took out the Collector base. He thought we were a thing."_

 _"He thought WE were a thing?" All he could do was repeat the ridiculous statement._

 _Now Shepard was offended. "Hey! I'm not that bad you know." Her glare hit him like a physical blow, followed by the actual punch she delivered to his shoulder. "It wasn't an entirely unreasonable assumption. You followed me into a plague zone to collect him. I blocked your shot on Sidonis with my damn head. What was he supposed to think?"_

 _"That were were friends?"_

 _The look Shepard gave him now spoke volumes. Told him in no uncertain terms that she was well aware of the torch he'd carried for her, and for how long._

 _"OK, I can see how he might think that. Still…"_

 _Shepard cut him off. "Look, read them or don't. I'm just trying to help. The way this war is going we may not have a lot of time to regret might have beens." She stole a glance in the direction of Liara's cabin._

 _"I didn't think I was good enough for her, you know?" Shepard confided after a moment. "I should have told her sooner. But for whatever time we have left, I'm never going to let her out of my sight." She put her hand on his shoulder as she rose. "Do whatever you're going to do, just decide soon, OK?"_

 _He watched her as she walked to the entrance of their resident Shadow Broker's office, and let herself in._

 _'You're not the only one who should have said something sooner,' he thought._

 _'But,' he decided, 'I'm not going to let this one get away.'_

 _He tucked the datapads under one arm as he started for the elevator._

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

"She doesn't have me doing anything," he replied. There was no use in trying to persuade her that the choice was up to him. They both knew he'd do anything Shepard asked. "We don't arrive at Tuchanka for another two days, and Victus and I have a vid call with the Hierarchy this afternoon." He paused as he pretended to consider, "so I'll probably spend some time calibrating the main gun until then."

Allers propped herself up on an elbow. "You don't have anything planned for this morning?"

"Did you have a better idea?"

"You could give me that interview you've been promising for weeks now," she replied. "Interviewing the fifth in line of succession of the Turian Hierarchy would increase my ratings twenty percent." She smiled enticingly.

Her smile faded slightly when she realized where his attention was focused. "Eyes up, soldier!"

"What?" He looked up in surprise.

"Nevermind," she smiled. "I think I have a better idea anyway," she said as she pulled her top over her head.


	7. Ties

**Summary:**  
Shepard and Aethyta run into difficulty in transit

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Thursday 8/3's Prompt: Family

* * *

Shepard awoke in her favorite circumstance, with her arms full of warm Asari.

She smiled, and did what she usually did in such an occasion, which was squeeze tightly.

"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but I find myself conflicted by the idea of my daughter's bondmate grabbing my ass."

Her heart lurching, Shepard's eyes snapped open at the the sound of Aethyta's voice as she practically threw the matriarch off her in reflex.

She looked around as she tried to get her bearings, finding herself on the deck of the shuttle she'd been traveling in with Liara's father. She put her hand to the back of her head, feeling the lump there. "What happened? Where are we?" The smells of ozone and burnt electronics permeated the air.

Aethyta was already attempting to coax that information from the injured shuttle. "Sabotage, it looks like. Something triggered an overload in the eezo core, but the shuttle ejected it before it blew." She looked from the controls to where the spectre still sat on the deck. "Your shuttle's safeties saved us both."

"Liara's shuttle," Shepard corrected with habit ingrained over years. She closed her eyes, trying to focus while ignoring the pain in her head. "No core means no mass effect systems. No FTL, no comm buoys. That's bad."

"No shit."

"Do you have our position?"

"We're adrift between relays in the Attis system, Aether cluster. We're drifting in the general direction of the outer relay."

"And no eezo core means no transit when we get to the relay," Shepard mused.

"No thrusters means we aren't getting to the relay anyway," Aethyta added to the good news.

"No thrusters? Fuck." Shepard lifted herself gingerly from deck, and eased into the co-pilot's seat with a hand from Aethyta. "What still works? Anything?"

Aethyta shot her a dirty look. "Life support obviously, which is a good thing because the only thing worse than being stuck in the ass end of nowhere is being at the ass end of nowhere in an environment suit."

"Yah," Shepard added bitterly. "I know a thing or two about being stuck in the middle of nowhere in an environment suit. It's nothing I care to repeat."

The Asari gave her a look that was almost sympathetic before she continued, "Looks like almost all of the secondary systems are fine. Short range communications, sensors, auxiliary power, even the escape pod if we want to go from fucked to really fucked."

"You're pissy for someone who should be happy to be alive," Shepard lightly touched the lump on her head, wincing at the pain. "We'll be fine. All we have to do is wait for pickup."

"Athame's blue ass kid, someone just tried to kill you and all you have to say is 'We'll be fine'?" Aethyta called up the forward projection. "What happens if whoever you pissed off comes back to finish the job?"

Shepard raised her voice despite the pain in her head. "Whoever I pissed off? How do you know they weren't gunning for you?"

"I kill my enemies kid," Aethyta said flatly. "I don't make nice and hope they remember me fondly."

The spectre sat back, the wind removed from her sails. "Is that how you see me? Soft?"

"You aren't soft kid, but you've got a blind spot the size of a fucking moon." She waved her arm to take in the whole of the shuttle. "Some random colony thinks they saw a Yahg, and the first thing you do is say 'I'll be right there'? This whole thing practically screamed trap."

"Yahg means Salarians, you know that. I had to check it out." Her gaze hardened. "Besides, you're here. If you think this was a big waste of time, why did you come?"

"To keep your ass alive, apparently. You're as bad as you were during the fucking war, jumping into the thick of things and counting on others to get you out." Aethyta turned away, rage visible in her stance.

Shepard was on her feet in a heartbeat. "Counting on others? Do you know what I've been through? What I put myself through?" She grabbed Aethyta's shoulder and spun her around. "I would have died for them. I DID die for them. You don't get to judge me."

She slapped Shepard's hand away. "I damn well do get to judge you. You'd have dragged Liara into this if you could."

The Human finally looked away. "There was a parent teacher conference. One of us had to go."

"One of us had to go," Aethyta mocked. "One of you had to take care of your kid, and one of you had to take care of the galaxy. Why am I not surprised who ended up on which side of that equation?"

"If it means anything, I'm glad Liara isn't here, OK? I don't want her to get hurt, or for Asteria to grow up without a mother." Shepard dropped limply back into her seat. "But someone also has to follow up on leads like this." She looked up at Aethyta. "And I felt better that you were coming," she admitted. "That you had my back."

Aethyta rolled her eyes. "Asteria shouldn't grow up without a father either. That's something that _I_ know a thing or two about."

Shepard turned away, finding herself facing the blown out console in front of the co-pilot's seat. "What happened here?"

"It exploded when the core went."

"But I was on the…" Shepard put two and two together. "You pulled me out of the way." She turned back to Aethyta for confirmation, receiving only a nod.

"I could have been killed," she said in sudden realization. " _That's_ why you're so pissed. I almost cost Liara a bondmate."

Aethyta slumped into the pilot's chair. "No." She turned away from the Human. "You almost cost me a daughter."


	8. Yearning

**Summary:**  
Samantha Traynor has eyes for her CO

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Friday 8/4's Prompt: Something you don't ship

* * *

' _She was aboard,'_ I'd thought.

Just being on the Normandy was going to have been honor enough. The ship, those people. So much history in so short a span. Being able to list "Normandy" as a posting was going to benefit my career for the rest of my life. Serving under Shepard? I'd never have allowed myself to dream. Ok, maybe I had, but it wasn't one of those kind of dreams.

And then came the attack. My ideal assignment on the refit team instantly became so much more and so much less. No longer just a technical challenge, allowing me to use my skills and training to "bring the Normandy into the fold" so to speak, but also no longer a sanctuary where my mind found refuge in fantasy about a certain Alliance commander, while my hands remained engaged in the work of the moment.

The first time her voice rang out over the PA had been a jolt. It was forceful, commanding, (obviously). It made me wish that it was directed at me, that I had a role to play on Mars or the Citadel. Instead I could only wait, a spectator more than anything else. I was so full of questions, but had no one to ask. The TO was full of holes, with the handful of us on board having no one between us and the CO until we took more crew aboard at the Citadel.

There had been only one officer aboard, Adams, and it was all he could do to keep engineering together when the Normandy was pressed into unexpected service. The refit was effectively complete, although there had been unexpected delays, newly ordered systems to integrate right up until the very end. Adams had complained exhaustedly in the mess one afternoon that it seemed like someone was deliberately trying to delay the project. Not enough to keep the Normandy from being spaceworthy, but enough to keep them on the verge of being able to launch without actually doing so. He'd even said as much to the admiral during an inspection, but Anderson had accepted the delays without comment, seeming to confuse Adams even more.

The twenty four hours we spent docked at the Citadel gave me my first chance. Scuttlebutt said the commander was anxious to be on the move, but Scuttlebutt was an idiot. The only person on the refit team who'd even spoken to her so far had been Joker, newly reinstated as well. All he'd offered had been an "I've got a secret," smile when I'd asked if he knew what our orders were. Arsehole. It isn't like I wouldn't have asked my direct superior if given the chance, but we're left the lieutenant behind in Vancouver when we launched without warning. I hoped she was still alive.

I managed to convince myself that reporting to the CO wouldn't be a break in protocol. After all, I didn't know who I reported to at this point, so technically I was Shepard's responsibility.

I waited until my duty shift ended, then went to present myself to the commander.

First, a quick trip to the crew deck so change out of my BDUs and into my dress blues. I didn't have a toothbrush on board, but I had my dress uniform. We'd learned early on that the Normandy was a favorite destination for admirals to stop by for inspections, and if admirals liked anything, they liked being piped aboard a ship with the full compliment in their service dress.

A quick stop in the women's head and I was ready. I paused for a quick glance in the mirror. I looked good. The uniform presented a professional aspect that I wanted to emphasize. The military might not entirely suit me, but I had to admit that the lifestyle certainly had been a positive impact. I still had the cute face, bedroom eyes, and (seemingly) shy demeanor that had served me so well with the girls at university, but now I had the body to back it up. The flat belly and tight ass were the most obvious additions since I joined the service, and had their bloody fitness regimen imposed upon me. Not that I'd ever had complaints before, but knowing that you couldn't just keep up with your partner, but be able to exhaust her gave a girl a certain confidence.

Deep breaths in the lift helped keep me calm. I went over what I would say when she opened the hatch to her cabin. _'Her cabin! Would she invite me in?'_ I brushed away the thought.

My mind was still running through possible scenarios when I stepped off the lift, prepared to signal my presence and almost walked directly into an Asari.

"Commander Shepard? I'm Specialist…" I began. Hopefully I seemed surprised to have stumbled onto a conversation in the foyer instead of sounding so oblivious that I hadn't noticed I wasn't alone.

She said something. I said something. I didn't notice anything but her eyes, and the fact that I'd forgotten to breathe. Then the Asari said "I was just leaving," and left me alone with her, with Shepard, for the first time. Suddenly I had her undivided attention. I stumbled my way through a description of the retrofit until EDI spoke up, and Shepard derailed me with the revelation that EDI was sentient. Remembering months of flirting with a disembodied voice drove me to a level of embarrassment I hadn't felt since I was a teen. I was so angry at her! I took solace in the fact that Shepard seemed amused, but I vowed to keep an eye on the AI.

I didn't realize then that my competition was the Asari.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

We grew close over the next several weeks. At least I thought we had.

She kept me aboard even after we took on crew at the Citadel. I told her what I read when I was at uni, and how I came to be in the Alliance. We had so much in common. Both colony kids, both enlisted at eighteen, although my service didn't start until after graduation. She'd spent that time gaining a reputation on Elysium and then going through OCS. Even though she was an officer, she never made me feel like I was anything other than a peer. I told her stories about my time in Alliance R&D and she had terrifying tales of Cerberus and the Reapers.

She introduced me to Officer Vakarian, who was the most interesting Turian I've ever met, and to Dr. T'Soni, who was the Asari I'd encountered that first day. T'Soni and Shepard had some kind of history, but when I'd asked Garrus about it he started talking about how spectres are nominated, and Thessian Great Houses, and how Asari society works. It sounded complex and monotonous the way he'd described it. It made Shepard sound like a politician instead of the hero she was. I decided that those responsibilities had to bore her to no end.

Despite my initial missteps, I could feel Shepard's growing confidence in me. My work on the false Grissom Academy distress signal, the data feed integration for the war summit, and decoding Javik's Prothean language tutorial all helped ingratiate me to the commander.

So much had my confidence increased that one afternoon when Shepard checked in for a status report, I replied with a challenge. "Game night?" I'd sent, in hopes of spending some time with Shepard away from prying eyes. My heart almost turned over when an invitation to her cabin came not minutes later.

The evening started out as a smashing success. We played a couple of games of chess, each drank a couple of glasses of wine. I told her more about my parents, and growing up on Horizon, she told me stories about her brother, dead over ten years now.

It was after her second defeat that she threw down the gauntlet. "I'm coming for you!" She'd exclaimed, not realizing that I'd drawn the games out, which had the side effect of making us seem more evenly matched. "Do your worst," she'd continued. "No one gets three in a row on me."

So I mopped the deck with her.

She'd surprised me, displaying more chess acumen than I'd seen from her so far. Her opening was the Sicilian Defense, a classic gambit that I was well prepared to counter, but I was impressed nonetheless. It suited her combative nature and I refused to insult her by not playing to my abilities once the challenge had been made. I attacked quickly, pressing my white advantage and exchanging pieces at a faster pace than I had demonstrated willingness to before. She lasted longer than I had expected. It seemed we'd both been holding back. Still, I was never in any danger, easily defeating her in twenty six moves.

She looked at me when we were done. Her eyes wide. She knew. She _knew_. I'd defeated her easily. I could have all along. For a moment I was no longer a subordinate, someone she needed to protect. I was an equal, and in at least this arena, her superior. She saw me in a new light, and I could see opportunities for me in that light.

' _All or nothing,'_ I thought. Perhaps it was time to act on another fantasy I'd had. I'd already mentioned the poor conditions of the women's shower. I'd hinted at wanting to "borrow" hers and hadn't been rebuffed. I'd almost worked up the courage to ask my commanding officer for permission to get naked in her cabin when in walked Dr. T'Soni.

Her demeanor was notably cooler towards me than it had been in earlier conversations. Why became obvious when the Asari came over, and without a word sat down in Shepard's lap. "We have a guest, Shepard?" She'd asked.

We.

That's when I realized the Asari hadn't buzzed for entry. She _lived_ here.

Bugger me. The Asari's look told me she knew exactly what I was hoping for, even if Shepard seemed cheerfully oblivious. The commander started giving an account of our chess matches while Dr. T'Soni's eyes never left mine.

Soon I could endure it no longer, and took my leave of them both, claiming an early shift in the morning. Shepard accepted my statement as fact, but T'Soni merely nodded at the lie.

From that point on we had an understanding.


	9. Friends

**Summary:**  
Garrus is looking for a little companionship at the end of a rough shift

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Saturday 8/5's Prompt: Friends

* * *

 _'Well that was horrible.'_

Garrus stepped off the lift, another marathon session with Victus finally over. There was a time when he would have been flattered to advise the primarch, proud even. That time was long past. The last few weeks of providing strategic input, and worse, seeing his advice taken, was almost more than he could tolerate. To say that sacrificing a colony would save another, more strategic one was fine in theory. It was horrifying to watch the primarch agree, and then give the order.

At least seven million Turians were going to die today, and he had personally consigned several hundred thousand of them to their fate. Good men and women whose only crime had been to live on a colony world that produced grain instead of eezo.

He rounded the corner into the mess, taking in the vacant room. He took a deep breath, deciding that could use a little company. He couldn't burden Shepard with his problems. If anything, he needed to do more to help the human with her responsibilities. He felt the weight of the Hierarchy on his shoulders, but she was carrying the whole damn galaxy.

"EDI?" He addressed the empty room.

"Yes, Officer Vakarian?" EDI's body was nowhere to be seen, and her voice addressed him via the overhead PA.

"Where's Shepard?" Maybe helping her with something would improve his mood.

"The commander is in the XO's office. She and Dr. T'Soni have requested privacy."

He couldn't resist the temptation. "Oh? What are they up to?" He felt a little better already.

"The commander is currently…" EDI stopped mid sentence. "That wasn't nice, Garrus."

He chuckled softly. "No it wasn't, and apparently you're not actually giving them their privacy either."

"It is my duty to see to the wellbeing of everyone on board the Normandy. I cannot do that if I am unable to ascertain their current condition." Garrus thought he could almost detect a sniff at the end.

"Even if their current condition is a compromising one?"

"The current status of the occupants of the XO's office is not available at this time," EDI replied in a mechanical tone.

"Good for you, EDI. I wouldn't want to piss off Liara either."

"Logging you out, Garrus."

 _'One way to end a conversation. I should try that sometime.'_

He considered his options, and decided the observation lounge might be his best bet. Shepard had stocked the bar with dexto alcohols as well as levo, and a drink sounded just about right.

The hatch opened on a compartment that he had expected to be just as empty as the mess. The Normandy wasn't anywhere close to what he would call fully crewed. It was kind of creepy, actually. Every time he was onboard the ship it had a smaller compliment. That just meant that he was particularly surprised when he found himself staring at the back of one of the two krogans on board. He'd barely begun to consider his options when Wrex took the initiative.

"I know you're there Bird. You might as well come in."

Garrus walked over the bar, going behind it to see what dextro options were available. There were already several empty bottles of ryncol in front of the krogan.

"Bad day, Wrex?" He asked nonchalantly, indicating Wrex' empties with his own bottle of brandy.

"Bad? Ha! We're gonna cure the genophage! I'm never going to have a bad day again!"

Garrus shook his head as he poured his glass. "She is amazing, isn't she?"

Wrex' eyes narrowed. "Meaning?"

Garrus tilted his head at the sudden terseness in Wrex's tone. "Meaning who would have thought anyone could do what she's done? Stop a rogue spectre? Bring down the collectors? Pull a primarch right out from under the reapers? Curing the genophage seems almost easy in comparison."

Wrex was silent for a moment. "OK."

"OK?"

"Yeah, OK," the krogan confirmed. "Just making sure you didn't have anything else on your mind."

Garrus knew what he meant. "I don't."

"Good." Wrex took another drink. "I meant what I said before. Blue's the perfect match for Shepard. You never stood a chance."

"Thanks Wrex. If this is your idea of a pick-me-up, you're failing miserably. Besides, I'm pretty happy with Allers."

The krogan appeared to ignore the comment as he continued. "If anything, this is worse. Now I have to protect them both. Neither one of them is seeing this to the end alone." Another glass of ryncol disappeared. "Shepard wouldn't be alive without Blue, and then where would we be? And without Shepard we wouldn't have the Shadow Broker on our team. They're both indispensable." He paused, as if only just remembering that Garrus was there. "And I was just pulling your tail before. I never thought you knew about that bomb on Tuchanka."

"Thanks," Garrus responded sarcastically to the backhanded compliment. _'Time to face the varren,'_ he thought. "About that bomb…"

Wrex cut him off. "You mean the Cerberus bomb? That the primarch's son gave his life to disarm? The one we owe the Turian Hierarchy our gratitude for neutralizing? That one?" Wrex met Garrus' shocked stare. "What about it?"

"Wrex, I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything for once. Kalros knows I wish you'd keep that mouth shut on missions." He poured himself yet another glass of ryncol. "We're gonna cure the genophage. You're part of that."

"Thanks again, I think."

"You don't understand." Wrex shook his massive head. "We may die tomorrow. We may ALL die. But the krogan aren't going to die with the turian boot on our neck, or the salarian knife in our back, or with the sound of an asari chastising us in our ear." He met Garrus' gaze with earnest intensity. "We did this together. Shepard, Liara, Mordin, some other humans," he waved a hand to take in the rest of the Normandy, "and my good friend Garrus. The only turian who hasn't forgotten how to hold a gun."

Garrus finished his brandy, not sure that there was an appropriate followup to such a sentiment. He decided to quit while he was ahead.

"I think I'm going to go see if Allers is done recording yet."

Wrex reached for another bottle of ryncol.

"Good."


	10. Secrets

**Summary:  
** Liara receives a visitor from the Normandy

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Monday 8/7's Prompt: The Bad Thing No One Talks About (8/6 was not part of Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles)

* * *

"Dr. T'Soni, there is a human here to see you."

Nyxeris' announcement was more for her visitor's benefit than her's. Liara had the reception area and stairway to her office under observation. While this was not unexpected given the nature of her business, it did tend to disconcert her clients when they were reminded of it.

Liara continued to watch reception, and the human currently talking to her assistant. She'd both anticipated and dreaded this moment. She'd known it was coming from the moment that the Normandy had made port at Nos Astra. With two years to plan, you think she'd have been better prepared.

She wiped the unease from her face, and allowed her features to settle into the unemotional mask that had become her norm.

"Nyxeris, please send the visitor in." She sat down at her desk, back straight, eyes focused on her terminal, making every effort to project a disinterested demeanor.

Her office doors slid apart. She could make out her guests' features in the reflection of her desk. The anxious hesitancy, the reluctance to enter. The goddess-damned Cerberus uniform that brought back so many memories, all of them bad. Memories of Omega, Feron, and the Shadow Broker. Memories of the love of her life reduced to crushed bone and charred flesh. She allowed none of this to show outwardly as she deliberately made effort to offer neither hospitality nor hostility.

She failed.

Eyes hooded, lips just shy of a sneer, she regarded her visitor with barely restrained contempt.

"Mr. Moreau. I am astounded that you had the courage to contact me at all, let alone come to my office."

The man shuffled a few steps forward, emotion raw on his face. "Liara," he began, then stopped as if re-evaluating the reception he'd received.

"Dr. T'Soni," he began again. "I need to talk to you. I just had to say…"

She waved him to silence as she interrupted. "I am not interested in your apology, Mr. Moreau. Your actions caused Shepard's death. You know it, I know it. This is not something that I am interested in discussing at all, and certainly not in discussing with you."

Joker appeared to find some backbone at that, as he pulled himself as straight as he was able. "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I've spent the last two years knowing that? That I spend every damn day knowing what I did?"

"Good", she whispered too low for him to hear, as her determination began to falter. She raised her voice. "I fail to see how this concerns me, how _you_ concern me."

"Bullshit Liara," Joker left the false formality behind. "I know what you did."

She steepled her fingers. "And I know what you did," she deflected. "And because of what you did, I felt my bondmate die."

"And yet here I am."

"Here you are" she agreed. "And as I have nothing additional to discuss with you, please leave my office."

"Here I am," he reiterated, "Because of you. I want to know why."

"I fail to understand," she again waved him to silence, "nor am I interested in having you explain it to me. I repeat, please leave."

"No!" Practically a yell. "I disobeyed a direct order from a superior officer. That lead to the death of my CO. Do you know that they do to Alliance officers who's insubordination gets their CO killed?"

"Something appropriate to the hierarchal nature of human organizations, I'm sure," she brushed off his question. "Nothing I have any interest…"

Joker cut her off. "I'll tell you what they don't do. They don't let them avoid court-martial. They don't quietly discharge them. They don't let them walk out of the JAG office after making a statement without so much as a by-your-leave. They don't see them safely into the arms of a goddamn terrorist organization." He pointed directly at her face, " _You_ did that. If it were up to Anderson they never would have found my body, but I spent the last two years flying The Illusive Man to fundraisers while Shepard was busy getting the best makeover I've ever heard of." He took a breath. "WHY?"

"It is what Shepard would have wanted."

Joker flinched as if struck. "But… you despise me. You didn't speak to me at the memorial. You never returned my calls."

"I have no desire to revisit that event."

"I deserved to be punished." His eyes were haunted. "Don't you think that's what _I_ wanted?

 _That_ was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? Liara had read the transcripts, seen the flight recorder data, observed Joker's debriefing and his psychological evaluation. Joker should never have been piloting the Normandy. Not after losing Ashley. Not after spending two months with the board of inspection instead of taking the R &R he desperately needed after the Saren mission.

It wasn't his fault.

But she hadn't been able to forgive him.

Joker took her silence for dismissal. He didn't have the heart to maintain a one-sided argument.

Before her office door closed, he looked back at the motionless asari. "She's back. That has to count for something. Doesn't it?"

When Liara didn't respond, Joker took the last step through the entry, allowing the door to close behind him.

 _'Goddess,'_ she thought.

After a moment's consideration, she opened a connection to Nyxeris.

"Nyxeris, please assist Mr. Moreau with navigating the stairs, and see that he returns safely to the Normandy."

She still hadn't forgiven him, she told herself.


	11. Visitor

**Summary:**  
The T'Soni estate hosts a visitor

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Tuesday 8/8's Prompt: A Long Lost OTP

So, not really an "OTP", but certainly a "P"

* * *

Shepard loved early mornings at the estate.

House T'Soni had been lucky in that regard. Although Armali had been hit hard by the reapers, the invasion had been stopped before the enemy had reached much beyond the population centers. The estate's relative isolation had spared it the fate that had befallen so many.

The climate of the region had helped as well. The overnight rains had washed the particulate mass out of the air early on. Now, when her windows were open all Shepard could smell was forest or ocean, depending on the direction of the wind. Sarah had recently returned from meetings in Majesa. After two years, the desert city still reeked of soot and ash.

Shepard returned to the kitchen, having taken her customary morning stroll through the house. She had encountered little activity. A few commandos on patrol, a handful of staff preparing for the day, acolytes in the library who were taking advantage of the pre-dawn quiet to further their studies. None but the commandos had even acknowledged Sarah's presence, most members of the household having long since learned that engaging the commander when she held a cup of coffee was a certain way to lose thirty minutes to inquiries about your well being.

There were many things that Sarah felt guilty about. Her artificially robust health. Her unexpected wealth, when so many had to do without. The fact that she has survived so much, when many had not.

However, two things brought her no feelings of guilt whatsoever. One was the love of her bondmate, and the other was how said bondmate was able to keep her suppled with coffee in a galaxy that was still struggling to feed itself. She had finished her cup just as she reached the kitchen, and as expected, found it empty except for the freshly brewed coffee waiting for her. She smiled, shaking her head as she refilled her mug. She'd never actually seen who made her coffee, but she guessed that it was being coordinated by either Liara or Denai.

She made her way into the staff dining area, where she usually took her breakfast. She never used the breakfast hall unless there were matriarchs afoot and Liara forced her to do so. The idea that the estate not only needed formal dining areas, but needed them segregated by meal seemed needlessly wasteful to the human.

Morning e-mail was light, she saw as the scrolled through recent messages on her omni-tool. Hackett still wasn't talking to her, which was more of a blessing than a hardship. The longer he could go without trying to pull her back into Alliance business, the more she could help Thessia with the rebuilding effort. There was a circumspect greeting from Counselor Alenko, wondering when she would next be at the Citadel. _'Yes Kaidan, message understood. You want me to stop by so you can play messenger boy for the Alliance.'_ She couldn't describe how grateful she was to have dodged that bullet. Counselor. What a joke. But the Assembly had wanted a war hero with extrasolar ties, spectre status a plus. Fortunately humanity had a spare. She trashed the message. If Kaidan wanted to talk to her, he could relay through Tevos. She had no intention of giving him heads up of the next time she planed to be in the Sol system. The Alliance had forced her into playing her citizenship in the Republics as the only card that had kept her out of their custody. Until they gave her an eezo engraved apology, humanity was about one step up from the batarians on her shit list.

She'd just added more sugar to her coffee when Aethyta walked in.

"Hey, babe." The matriarch breezed past on her way into the kitchen for kaffe.

She returned a moment later, steaming cup in her hand, and took a seat across from Shepard before taking a long drink. Her _hi'daa_ was barely closed, and loosely tied. Shepard had spent weeks mastering the ceremonial knot, and promptly abandoned it the first time Aethyta appeared at the estate and closed her robe with a simple overhand loop. Eventually even Liara had given up the nod to propriety.

She put down her mug, and indicated Shepard's omni. "Anything good?"

Shepard peered at the matriarch. The woman almost radiated good cheer. That alone gave the commander pause. Since Aethyta also hadn't insulted her yet, it made Shepard wonder what she was missing.

"Nothing worth caring about. Alenko wants to know when I'll be at the Citadel."

"Fuckwit." Aethyta's opinion of the Alliance was even lower than Shepard's. Not that she was complaining. Aethyta was part of the reason that she was sitting here enjoying her coffee instead of spending her days in an Alliance facility "for her own safety".

"Yeah well, Tevos is going to want me in front of the council eventually."

"Who cares? She wants to see you, she can come visit. Goddess knows you love to entertain. You're as bad as Benezia, although she never actually cooked when people came over."

"Who's coming over?" Liara's voice sounded from the doorway, Alaya and Dona behind her.

Shepard was immediately on her feet, hurrying to Liara's side. "Here, let me help."

Liara swung her cane at Sarah, the commander jumping aside just in time. "I am not going to get any stronger if you insist on treating me like an invalid. Both Karin and Dr. Iadri say I need to spend more time using my leg, not less."

Sarah just looked at her dubiously as she matched Liara's pace to the dining table. The urge to assist was strong, but she also knew that Liara fought dirty. If she didn't leave her alone then Liara might tell her therapist she was having nightmares again. Healing melds were not an experience she enjoyed.

Liara sat down next to Shepard as Dona went on to collect breakfast. Alaya positioned herself a few seats down from Aethyta, obviously still uncomfortable with the idea of the family dining with the staff.

"Good morning Father," she greeted Aethyta.

"Morning, Little Wing," the matriarch smiled.

Liara turned to Shepard, who shrugged. "She was chipper when she came downstairs. So far the harshest thing she's said to me today was to compare me to Benezia."

Liara turned back to her father, eyes wide. "Father! You didn't!"

"Why not? Can't stand the thought that anyone's getting any but you?"

Liara rolled her eyes. The estate was full of bonded couples, encompassing almost all the galactic species. "Of course not." She took a breath, "But I would prefer that you be circumspect about bringing unknowns to the estate for your pleasure."

"I wouldn't consider myself an 'unknown' Blue, and it wasn't just her pleasure."

"Wrex!" Shepard called to the krogan in the doorway. She started to rise, then thought better of it. "Uh, I'd give you a hug Big guy, but you're a little, um, exposed."

Wrex looked down at the robe that might generously be considered to cover half his body. "What?" He looked back at them. "I'm wearing the same thing all of you are. Don't you want me to be comfortable?"

A maiden appeared from behind him, and at Alaya's direction offered Wrex a larger garment. He handed off the one he was wearing while all but Aethyta looked away.

"What are you doing here, Wrex?" Shepard asked as the krogan sat down next to Aethyta. "Nevermind. Don't answer that. It's obvious what you're doing here. What uh," she shook her finger from one to the other, "brought this on?"

Aethyta elbowed Wrex when he started to open his robe in response. "We had a run in about 500 years ago. No, the good kind," she said when Shepard started to speak up. "Back on Earth we were pinned down by a bunch of banshees. I told him that if we made it out of there that we should make time for a replay."

"Bakara's busy petitioning the Council for more territory, so I had time," finished Wrex.

"How come you didn't go?" Shepard was more than willing to draw this out. Liara didn't quite look horrified now the Wrex was dressed, but Alaya looked like she wanted a hole to crawl into.

"Oh you know, good krogan, bad krogan. I'll go next week." Wrex directed his attention to the kitchen. "Hey! Hungry krogan here!"

"And Bakara doesn't mind?" Pressed Shepard. She knew Aethyta was many things, but she didn't think that a homebreaker was one of them.

"She was glad for me to take him off her hands," answered Aethyta. "Otherwise he'd be at the Citadel making the Council unhappy by causing a ruckus." She turned to Wrex. "Speaking of causing a ruckus, why don't we take our breakfast upstairs?" She turned to Liara as she rose, "Talk to you later kid, Shepard."

Aethyta left the room with Wrex close behind.

Liara buried her face in her hands. "Goddess, I did not need to know that my father and Wrex…"

"Are you kidding?" Interrupted Shepard. "This is awesome. Maybe I can use your dad to get him to come to Thessia all the time! I wanted someone to help me upgrade the cannon on the shuttle."

Liara's sigh was almost a sob.


	12. Disagreement

**Summary:**  
Miranda has a solution for the asari problem

 **Notes:**  
Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Wednesday 8/9's Prompt: An argument

* * *

The ship was deserted. Close enough, at any rate. Moreau was aboard, but he was asleep. The man could sleep twenty hours straight, and then top it off with a nap. He had absolutely no interest in goings on when the ship wasn't in flight.

That was fine with Miranda. She sought neither conversation nor comfort. She was here to do a job, a job that was becoming more frustrating by the day. There was always one more delay, one more "this won't take long" distraction. There wasn't a great deal she could do about most of them, not while she was at least ostensibly under Shepard's command. This one however, this was a delay that she could deal with. That she would deal with.

She stepped in to the conference room, waiting while the table sank into the floor, revealing the holoprojection system beneath. She's wanted to have this conversation sooner, but the Normandy's design allowed for access to the comm room only through the armory or the lab. That's why she'd had to wait for the crew to go ashore.

She stepped into the transmission circle, and waited for the connection to be made. The Illusive Man was watching her even now, she knew. The fact did not bother her. She was aware of many surveillance devices aboard the ship, and was not naive enough to believe that she was aware of them all. Still, no reason to appear unaware. At exactly the time of the scheduled call, she looked up at the camera that she knew was hidden in the corner of the conference room. She could almost hear The Illusive Man's chuckle as he would take a deep draw from his cigarette, crush it out, and then, just on the exhale, he would activate his end of the connection. Right about…

"Miss Lawson."

"Illusive Man." Miranda stepped to the forward edge of the transmission circle, getting as close to his image as the technology would allow. "There has been an unacceptable amount of interference, and it is impeding mission progression."

The Illusive Man regarded her calmly, finally prompting with "Go on."

 _'Good, he's not dismissing the issue out of hand,'_ she thought. That was one problem with working for someone who was usually right, and had access to far more data than was available in the field. An operative might find herself working from incomplete or incorrect information. It had happened more than once with Project Lazarus. Technically that project was complete and this was a reassignment, but she still considered the collector mission to be a component of her original objective.

"The Normandy is docked at Nos Astra," she paused, waiting to be told this was all part of some grand plan.

Instead he simply nodded. "I am aware of the ship's position. I hope Miranda, that you are not simply calling with an update on your location. The automated systems are more than sufficient to provide me with all the information I require about the goings on aboard the Normandy." A no-so-subtle reminder about the surveillance systems, that.

"No sir. However, this is the third time that Shepard has returned us to Illium." Time to stop beating around the bush, not that he probably didn't have a good idea where she was going. "The third time that Shepard has returned to Illium to attempt to enlist the asari in her mission."

"This is not surprising," he paused as he lit another cigarette. "We are both aware of Shepard's ties to Dr. T'Soni, and that these visits are not solely for potential benefit to the mission. When Shepard received no satisfaction on Thessia, it was inevitable that she try to engage Dr. T'Soni directly."

"The asari is a distraction," she contended. "She may have been useful to us in the past, but that usefulness is gone."

"Perhaps," he conceded.

"I have agents on Illium," stated Miranda flatly. "Request permission to eliminate the asari and get Shepard back on track."

"Denied," he replied in a voice devoid of emotion, as he took another draw from his cigarette.

"It will be no issue to…" she paused. "Denied?" She hadn't expected that.

"Denied," he repeated. "No harm is to come to Dr. T'Soni."

"But," she knew that she was coming dangerously close to insubordination, but the ramification of Shepard's obsession with the asari seemed clear. "Shepard is spending more time trying to make up with the asari than she is on finding the collectors. If the asari is no longer a distraction…" She trailed off as The Illusive Man started shaking his head.

"If Shepard were to suspect that we took action against Dr. T'Soni, we'd lose her."

"Sir, might I remind you that I requested a control chip be placed," she trailed off when the look on The Illusive Man's face told her that he wasn't finished.

"As I was saying, we'd lose her. That goes If we are the responsible party or not. Shepard has no reason to trust us, and if something happens to Dr. T'Soni no amount of rationalization will allow her to remain with Cerberus."

"The crew and I are prepared for that contingency, sir."

"No you're not. The crew is already swinging in her direction. Current projections indicate that if Shepard were to go rogue, Cerberus would have a less than a forty percent chance of containing the situation and retaining control of the ship."

"Why have I not seen these projections? Whose loyalty is in question? I need…"

"What you need is to remained focused on Shepard, as you have been," he interrupted. "It was always anticipated that Shepard would leave Cerberus and take the Normandy with her. It is preferable that she do so after the mission is completed. Understood?"

"Of course, sir." She tried to convince herself that he couldn't see the anger in her eyes.

He leaned back in his chair, taking on the "let me explain this to you" mode that she always found so insulting, even from him. "Cerberus has extensive resources Miss Lawson, but they are not unlimited, nor is this project the only one currently underway."

 _'Miss Lawson again,'_ she thought. He's annoyed. Not a good sign.

"Shepard, on the other hand, has access to resources that are far in excess of even our own. If she were to avail herself of them, it would provide significant relief to Cerberus." He paused for his cigarette. "However, there were two items that prevented her from doing so." He peered intently at Miranda. "The first, obviously, was that she was dead. You fixed that. Cerberus provided her with a ship and a crew to influence the direction she'd take once the minor problem of her resurrection was overcome."

 _'Not that minor a bloody problem,'_ she thought.

"The second item is that her connection to those resources are through her family. Her _asari_ family. A family that her particular brand of honor will not allow her to feel comfortable with until she is able to regain the affections of Dr. T'Soni." He paused for that to sink in.

"Fortunately for all concerned, I have some idea as to what will assist Shepard in regaining the doctor's devotion. I will be sending some information to you at the appropriate time, and you will act on it as instructed."

"Of course, sir." All emotion was gone from her face as she turned to go.

"Oh, and Miranda?" He called before she stepped out of the transmission circle.

"Yes?" She kept her back turned towards him.

"You might want to pay more attention to your messages. It seems you have business on Illium as well. _Personal_ business. You should attend to it before it becomes a distraction." The sarcasm was obvious. He disconnected.

 _'Dammit,'_ she thought as she opened her omni-tool.


	13. Needs

**Summary:  
** Shepard has needs. Aethyta thinks Shep and Liara are idiots.

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Friday 8/11's Prompt: Smut

Based on an idea from Daniscats!

(8/10 was not part of Cari'ssi'mi Drabbles - it wasn't skipped)

* * *

Aethyta was surprised to find Shepard with one of the work details.

"Hey kid," she greeted. "What are you doing out here?"

The human stepped away from where several maidens were leveling ground in preparation of additional construction. She drove the shovel she was holding into the dirt, and leaned against the handle. "Something wrong with getting my hands dirty?" She replied grumpily.

"Noooo…" Aethyta hesitated. Not that she didn't like needling the human. Shepard had the sense of humor of a broke volus. She just preferred doing it from a position of strength. If Shepard was already pissed off, she wanted to know what caused the fire before she added fuel to it. Especially if she needed to do something about it. After all, as far as she was concerned, no one got to piss off Shepard but her.

Well OK, Maybe Liara was allowed that privilege as well, but those two were so sickeningly sweet that she took it as her personal duty to keep Shepard from getting too full of herself. Especially now that they were finally going to give her a grandchild. You'd think she was the first father in Thessia's history, parading Liara around like she'd had anything to do with it except show up.

"I'd think you'd be getting all the time in with Liara that you could, before the kid comes and you have to start sharing her." She remembered those days with her kids. Not Liara of course, but the others.

"We'll be busy, sure. All the more reason to do what I can now, before the baby comes and we aren't getting any sleep."

Aethyta just looked at her in confusion. "Not getting any sleep? You know I'm all for a healthy sex life, but I hate to tell you Shepard, the kid's gonna take a least a little spring out of Liara's step for a while."

"I meant taking care of the baby, at least until she starts sleeping through the night." Shepard's reply was still on the terse side.

"Sleep through the… What the hell are you talking about Shepard? Why wouldn't the baby sleep? What are you planning on doing with it?" For a moment Aethyta remembered that almost everything she knew about humans could be summed up in their drinking habits, the fact that she'd had to help keep Shepard out of Alliance "protective custody" after the war, and the behavior of the woman in front of her.

Shepard probably wasn't the most archetypal example of humanity ever produced, Aethyta reflected.

"Don't human children sleep, Shepard?" That was probably the easiest question, the safest question. Shepard loved to expound. All Aethyta had to do was endure the chatty human's response for however long it took.

Shepard tilted her head in uncertainty. "Uh, yes? They just wake up a lot. Couple hours down, couple hours up, that sort of thing. And they cry. They cry when they're hungry, cry when they're tired, cry for attention. Sometimes they'll cry for no reason."

"That sounds fucking spectacular. Remind me not to invite any humans with children to the estate." Aethyta shook her head. "No wonder most of the humans I know are always in a bad mood. You're sleep deprived as a species."

"They get over it after about a year or so. Until then, the parents spend a lot of time trying to figure out what the kid wants, so they can get some sleep."

"Athame's blessed blue ass," Aethyta rolled her eyes. "No wonder you're stressed. Your kid's an asari, Shepard. She's going to sleep all the time, and if she cries that means you fucked something up."

"Fucked up how? Kids cry. Babies cry. That's how they let you know they need something."

"Asari kids _meld_ , dumbass. That's how they let you know they need something. If you or Liara are holding her, and let me tell you one of you will be holding her almost all the time at the beginning, she's gonna meld. She won't be able to help it, especially not with her parents. If she's hungry, needs comfort, wants to be changed, whatever, you'll _know_ , you won't have to figure it out." She looked dumbfounded at Shepard. "Don't you and Liara ever talk about this shit? We're a communal species. You'll be lucky if she stops sleeping in your bed before she's twenty. Best to have another kid right away. It isn't common, but it's one solution. They'll spend time with each other, give you and Liara a break."

Shepard stared back open mouthed. "Twenty?" The word dropped from her lips.

Aethyta grinned. This was more fun than she'd hoped.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Her daughter was equally grumpy when Aethyta returned to the main estate. The matriarch had wound her way through hidden stairways, secret passages, and shielded doors to find the daughter who was now ignoring her.

"Sentry Omega is not to be left unmonitored. You are to remain on station until relieved by Agent 317."

Aethyta shook her head. If hearing the Shadow Broker's distorted voice come from her maiden daughter's mouth had been disconcerting before, it was outright ridiculous hearing those commanding tones from Liara now that she was nearly twenty months pregnant.

"Agent 317 has been delayed," came the response. Another asari, from the sound of the voice.

"Irrelevant." The Shadow Broker tolerated no discussion. "Agent 317 will arrive before the end of the week." A pause, then a seemingly begrudged "You shall be additionally compensated for your service."

Surprise from the other voice now. "Thank you, Broker. I will do everything that…"

Liara interrupted. "Performing your duty is enough. Shadow Broker out."

The maiden swiveled in her chair, no longer able to spend the long days on her feet that had been commonplace since becoming the Shadow Broker. "Yes Father?"

Aethyta hitched a hip on the end of a row of monitors, drawing a disapproving look from Liara. The matriarch dismissed it, as she had so many looks before.

"I ran into Shepard out by the east gate. She was working with Seyia's team on the new fabrication shops."

"Shepard does like to stay busy," Liara's attention moved back and forth from Aethyta to her monitors.

"Well, at least the Council hasn't tried to send her out on a mission in a bit," Aethyta tried to broach the subject of parenting. "It's good for her to stay close to home until the kid comes."

Liara rubbed her bulging belly self-consciously. "We are both looking forward to the baby's arrival."

"By digging up rocks? It looked like Shepard was working herself into a frenzy."

Now Liara looked away. "Shepard is having nightmares again. She never completely stopped, really. It helps her to exhaust herself so that she sleeps more soundly."

"Has she talked to Iadri?" The House doctor had been chosen specifically for her eclectic range of specializations, psychiatry being among them.

"Not yet. We hoped it would not be necessary. This has happened before, in times of increased stress." She rubbed her belly again. "I believe she is nervous about our impending parenthood."

"I might have taken care of that." Liara looked up at the disclosure, and Aethyta waved any comment away. "Doesn't matter. You said this happened before?"

"Yes, but in the past," Aethyta thought Liara was starting to blush. "In the past, we were, I mean she was, that is, I could help her sleep."

Liara was definitely blushing. "How the hell did I even get a grandkid?" She met Liara's angry look with an eyeroll. "I get it. You two have sex, and she gets sleepy after. Congratulations for figuring out how fucking works." She paused, "Wait, does that mean you stopped? What's wrong?" Aethyta had no indication that there were problems between Liara and Shepard. If she missed something she was going to kick Alaya's ass, and then her own.

"You know that I am very young to be having a child."

"No shit, you're practically a baby yourself."

"I am one hundred and fourteen!"

"Yeah, yeah, and you don't look a day over one hundred. Look, you know I'm the first person to tell you your business, but I mean it this time. If Shepard isn't getting what she needs at home, there are literally billions of people out there who would give anything for a chance to be the reason she strays."

Liara was indignant. "Shepard would _never_ ," she wouldn't even finish the sentence.

OK, Aethyta had to admit that Liara was likely correct about that one. The kid was as virtuous as they came. "Fine, you're probably right. Doesn't mean she wouldn't be miserable." She looked closely at Liara. "Is that what you want?"

"Of course not, Father. I am as frustrated as she is. However, because of my age and the drugs I have been prescribed to prevent me from rejecting my leg, Dr. Iadri has instructed that I am not to 'overly exert' myself over the last two months of my pregnancy."

"And?"

"And nothing Father." Liara crossed her arms. "Shepard and I will get through this, just like we have many other things."

Aethyta ran her hand over her crest, not believing what she was hearing. How did these two even function? "So you aren't doing this on purpose? She hasn't pissed you off?"

"No, not lately at any rate," Liara shook her head. "Absolutely not like you are thinking."

"Then why aren't you having sex?"

"Father," Liara took as deep breath as she tried to remain calm. "I just explained…"

"You explained why you couldn't exert yourself. You're asari! I mean sure, it's better when you bring the body along for the ride, but you don't have to. All that shit's in your head anyway."

Liara was just staring.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Aethyta asked dejectedly.

Her daughter just shook her head slowly.

"Now I know there's a goddess. I can't imagine a more cosmic joke than having to have 'the sex talk' with my one hundred and fourteen year old, pregnant, daughter." She ran her hand down her face. "You know you can sync nervous systems and remain entirely internal to your and your partner's minds, yes?"

"Of course. Like in a memory meld. Shepard and I did something like that just before the last push on Earth"

 _'Meaning you didn't expect for one or both of you to survive.'_ Aethyta filed the thought for the moment, but it was interesting to know. "Exactly." She tried to sound supportive. This might not be as hard as she thought. "So instead of accessing memories, you create one…"

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It was late when Shepard came to bed, but Liara was waiting. She gave Sarah time to get comfortable, and then moved closer to the human. _Her_ human. She snuggled against her. "Hello there."

Even in the dark she could feel her bondmate smile. Shepard turned, and kissed the top of her crest. "Hi."

Liara pressed herself even more tightly against her, prompting Shepard to wrap an arm around her. An arm that quickly jerked away. "Hey, not that I'm complaining or anything, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep to the 'we're not supposed to do anything' plan if you aren't going to wear anything to bed."

Liara grabbed Shepard's arm and replaced it before wrapping her arms around the human in return. "We _can_ do this."

Sarah turned to face Liara, moving in to put her lips to the asari's throat when she was intercepted. "Hold still, Shepard. You can hold me, but everything else will be in the meld."

"But I thought…"

"I thought so too, but my father came to see me this afternoon, and she suggested that we try something different." Liara buried her face in Shepard's neck, and Sarah could feel the heat in Liara's face against her throat.

"Your father?" Shepard tried to push herself away, but Liara held her fast.

"Sometimes she has good ideas, Shepard. Do you trust me?"

"With all that I am."

"Good answer. Embrace eternity."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard walked confidently through Afterlife. She was alone, but she wouldn't be for long.

She looked good, and she knew it. Dressed all in black; denim pants, silk shirt tight enough to show off her definition, leather vest. Her hair slipped down her shoulders in waves, green eyes sharp. She scanned the room as she made her way towards her private table, looking for challenge, but knowing she probably wouldn't find it. No one wanted to mess with the woman who killed the reapers. It was disappointing, really.

An anonymous maiden slipped a drink into her hand. She spared it a glance. Her usual, an Irish krogan. She sipped it thoughtfully. Hot and bold, just like she preferred it. Someone must have alerted them that her ship had docked for it to already be prepared. Not that she expected anything less. She was Commander Fucking Shepard. It had been years since she'd paid for a drink anywhere in the galaxy.

 _'Aren't you taking this a little far?'_ Sarah chuckled in her mind.

 _*Hush*_

She rounded the far end of the bar, and saw that her table was empty. Of course it was, her name embossed on the side. She didn't come here often, but one never knew when the Savior of the Galaxy was going to pay Afterlife a visit.

She slid into the booth, unbuttoning the top of her shirt in concession to the heat of the room. Another drink was placed on the table, the distraction giving a dancer time to step up and grasp the pole there.

Their eyes locked. She was young, sensuous. Shepard knew asari, and this one couldn't be much more than a hundred. She carried herself with the false demureness of a maiden, shy eyes belying a ravenous appetite in their mesmerizing blue.

The asari stated moving, a slow, undulating roll that went from her toes to her crest, presenting all of her body to Shepard, one centimeter at a time. Sarah finished her first drink as she opened another button.

The dancer was unlike any asari Shepard had ever seen. The girl was strong, limber, heartbreakingly beautiful, and for an asari, that was saying a great deal. She spun the pole slowly, never taking her eyes off Shepard's as she slowly undressed. She tossed her garments a piece at a time with unerring accuracy, her various coverings slowly creating a soft pile of silken beauty in Shepard's lap. She wrapped a leg over her head, bending down to the table, burying her face into the bowl of bury strips the staff had placed while Shepard's attention was focused elsewhere. The maiden came up with one in her mouth, stretching forward to place it in the commander's own.

Shepard sat back, chewing the appetizer as the maiden pulled herself back to the pole, cupping her breasts for Shepard's inspection, as if Shepard hadn't been staring already. Once she was back against the pole, she slid down it's length ending on her knees in front of the commander. She crawled forward, reaching Shepard, capturing her lips in her own. When Shepard kissed back, she lowered herself onto the commander's lap and ran her hands up and down the human's body.

Sarah broke for air, looking down at the space between them. Her shirt was completely open now, and the maiden wore, well a rather mischievous smile. She lifted the asari off her, standing herself as she quickly calculated the shortest path to the private rooms the bar provided for VIPs.

Then she was moving at a brisk pace, pulling the maiden silently behind her, the sound of her bare feet unnoticeable in the noise of the bar. Her eyes flicked upward and caught Aria's gaze. The ruler of Omega raised her glass in salute. Shepard nodded in return, remembering when they had liberated Omega. When Aria had grabbed her, pulled her strongly to her, crushing her lips against her own. Shepard had wanted to pull away, but the matriarch's power was intoxicating, she'd been lost in the moment, she'd wanted to be lost in the moment…

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Vertigo overcame her as the meld ended, and she was suddenly in bed with Liara. No, falling from the bed with Liara, as the maiden had pushed her out of it.

"That was _not_ acceptable, Shepard."

She looked up from the floor. "That wasn't my fault. I had no idea…"

"It was _your_ fantasy, Shepard."

"And you looked amazing!"

Liara turned away. "I think you should sleep in the other suite tonight."

Shepard knew better to cross an angry asari bondmate, especially when they were pregnant. Few humans had.

Still, she couldn't resist. "We are going to do this again though, right?"

"Tomorrow you're the dancer." Liara threw a pillow at her.


	14. A Good Life

**Summary:  
** Liara says goodbye

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Saturday 8/12's Prompt: Major Character Death

* * *

"It's time, Peeress."

Liara looked up from her work, Iryra, as always, at her side.

"So soon?"

Dr. Iadri nodded, allowing the young matron to process the information she'd received.

Liara bowed her head, "I thought we would have more time."

"Everyone does, Peeress," she stepped into the doorway, indicating Liara should follow.

They walked through the estate in silence, none impeding their path. Liara's emotions were palpable, and neither Iadri nor Iryra intruded upon them.

Eventually they reached a small bedroom at the north end of the estate. Small was relative, of course. There were few sleeping quarters in the T'Soni household that could truly be considered confining. The room easily fit the three of them with room to spare, in addition to the three nurses and the frail human woman whose tall bed they gathered around.

The woman's eyes were closed, her breathing practically nonexistent.

"Can she hear us? Does she know I'm here?" Liara quietly asked Iadri.

"Perhaps," consoled the doctor. "She was fairly lucid when I left to get you."

"Fairly lucid," responded Liara. "There was a time not long ago when I would have hoped for more."

"It was an abrupt decline," confirmed Iadri, "but not an unanticipated one. Given her age, one might even say it was inevitable."

Liara asked the hardest question of all. "Will she recognize me?"

"Difficult to say, Peeress." Iadri was not one to peddle false hope. "But there is one way to find out."

Liara stepped to the bedside, taking the human's frail hand in her own. Feeling the skin like paper, the pulse so weak as to be nonexistent. Every breath could be her last, but still Liara waited to speak. She was a coward, she knew. But she still hoped for rescue, for salvation.

That rescue came as it always did, this time in the form of a pair of arms that wrapped around her from behind. Familiar lips closed in and kissed her cheek. Liara sagged against the strength of her bondmate.

"You OK, love?" Shepard asked, concern evident in her whisper. "I got here as soon as I could."

Liara turned and buried her face in Shepard's chest. "I didn't think it would be this hard."

Shepard nodded, holding Liara close as she tried to keep a stoic face. "It gets harder each time," she confirmed. "Soon there's only going to be two left."

"Ori?" A whispered question from the bed.

Liara whirled to the bedside, again taking Miranda's hand. "Oh, Miri, Ori's not here." There was no point in explaining why, explaining that Oriana wouldn't be here. Couldn't be here, having long preceded her sister on the journey upon which Miranda was about to embark.

Miranda looked disoriented, trying to peer around Liara, as if not believing the matron's statement when she caught sight of Sarah. "Shepard!" She called, her voice clear for a moment.

Sarah stepped forward, shoulder to shoulder with Liara, one arm around her bondmate, the other reaching to Miranda. "Well if it isn't the perfect Miss Lawson," she replied. "Don't you have work you should be doing?" She teased.

Miranda's face belied her bewilderment as she attempted to move. "Commander? I already…" She hesitated, "I don't believe…" Finally she met Shepard's eyes in confusion. "You look so _young,_ " she whispered as she slumped against the bed, exhausted from the effort.

"Your work, Miranda." Liara leaned forward and kissed the human on the forehead. "You always did excellent work."

"Someone else might have gotten it wrong," murmured Miranda, a running joke shared between two Shadow Brokers when they chose to take certain matters into their own hands. Her eyes closed as her hand relaxed in Liara's grasp.

"And I will never be able to thank you enough." Liara tightened her hold on Sarah. "Our love, our family, is your legacy."

The pair turned to Iadri, who confirmed Miranda's passing with a respectful nod. "You came just in time."

Liara turned into Shepard's embrace. Not sobbing, exactly. Miranda would have objected to that, but it was a near thing.

Iryra stepped forward. "Commander," she started with atypical hesitancy, "Is there anyone we should notify? Family?" Even here, Miranda had been an unknown, an enigma. A woman with as little past as the history books would allow. Outside of the estate there were few who could have confirmed she was even alive.

Liara turned to Iryra, still tightly held by Sarah's arms. "We are her family. Rain is expected through the week. We shall release her as soon as Wrex and Grunt arrive."

"Yes, Peeress." Iryra turned away to begin preparations as Liara closed her eyes and whispered,

"And now there are two."


	15. Dejected

**Summary:  
** Shepard has to get away for a bit

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Sunday 8/13's Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

* * *

She'd been drinking nearly six hours now.

Going to a club was supposed to be fun. Well, it used to be. She remembered it being fun, anyway. That was a long time ago. Back when she was just a grunt, or even as a young officer. She'd always been willing to get shitfaced. No need for a plan, just drink and see what happened. The kinds of places she frequented were perfect for that, and tended to be filled with the right kind of people to make things happen. Any given night saw her with a fifty fifty shot at ending up bloodied or in someone else's bed.

Most of those nights she hadn't cared which.

It was different now. She was respectable, a goddam hero. Had been for a while.

She never thought she's miss those days. She'd been so angry then. Angry at her father, at the batarians, at the whole damn galaxy. A few had successfully penetrated that shell. Karin, Anderson, Poena. They'd made it through the gauntlet she'd thrown between her and the universe. She missed her anger. She wondered where it went. She didn't care when she was angry.

Funny how death changes a person.

Now she was running away again. She'd left Earth in disarray, unwilling to bend to Alliance wishes. Humanity could damn well step up if it wanted to, but she wasn't going to lift them over the other races. She'd tried to be fair, but that always left someone questioning her decisions, outraged at her choices. "Traitor," they'd called her. Even Hackett had turned on her in the end. She'd felt like a failure when she left the Sol system behind, a broken Council trying to lead where none would follow.

Thessia was better, but only just. There she'd been lauded, praised for her work, for her sacrifices. Starving families offered her their meals. People the would wait for days to be able to see her, and those who couldn't see, for the privilege of hearing her voice.

And Liara, her love, her life. That beautiful smile, those shining eyes. The way she went to pieces at Liara's breathy "Hello, Shepard." The way she wanted to cry when she saw her prosthetic.

She'd had to leave, to get away. Just for a few days. Time to be alone, put herself back together, or at least keep from falling further apart. Liara had objected, and then negotiated. Liara had insisted she bring Denai, and Denai had brought commandos.

Now she was in Afterlife. The bartender knew her only as "ryncol", but obviously there was more. No one ever came into Afterlife with protection. Aria wouldn't allow it, allow someone to challenge her authority. Not even a drunk. Not here, not at the seat of her power.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Aria slid onto the stool next to her. The matriarch slapped the glass out of her hand, and the bartender had two salarian whiskies on the bar before Shepard's drink hit the ground.

"Don't drink that shit here, Shepard. It makes me look bad."

Sarah grunted as she picked up the whisky. She'd have to pick up the pace if she ever wanted to get ahead of her synthetic components.

"Trouble at home? T'Soni kick you out?" Aria's smirk faded when Shepard didn't respond. "Probably not, or all the commandos you brought would have their eyes on you, and not me."

"Didn't bring 'em," Shepard signaled for another drink.

Aria nodded to the bartender. "Oh? Pretty sure they came in on the same ship you did."

Shepard knocked back her drink, and waved her glass in the general direction of Denai at the other end of the bar. "They're hers."

The matriarch glared at the matron until Denai looked away. "They're hers, she's yours. Whatever." She moved her drink to the side as Shepard reached for it. "I don't think so." Shepard lunged across her, but Aria stopped the human with the practiced ease of someone who'd been handling drunks for centuries.

"What are you doing here, Shepard?"

"I was trying to drink!" Sarah attempted to twist away from the hold Aria had on her wrist.

Aria just shook her head. "You were trying to get my attention. You have it. What are you doing here?"

"Nothing! I just need a break."

"That's better." Aria released her hold and slid the drink to Shepard. "So if it isn't trouble at home, what is it? Usually my next guesses would be money or job, but you're pretty much immune to those concerns, aren't you?"

"Failed," murmured Shepard as she indicated for another whisky.

"Finally!" Aria sounded almost cheerful. "Guilt. I haven't had one of those all day." She watched attentively while Shepard finished a fourth whisky. "It's time to go home, Shepard."

The spectre's head turned in an instant. "Home? I just got here."

The barest of smiles touched Aria's lips. "You came here to get kicked out. To relive the glory days. These are your glory days. The rest of your life are your glory days. You wanted someone to tell you to go home, someone who could stand up to you and make it stick. Here I am. Go home to your bondmate, she's waiting for you."

"Whadda you know about it?"

"I know Omega. I am Omega."

"Heard that before." Shepard's shoulder's slumped.

"I am Omega," she repeated. "I've given up everything for her. My daughter, everyone I've ever loved, I've given up for Omega. When Petrovsky took Omega from me, he took them too, he took her. You gave her back to me." She smiled a death's head smile. "Killing that fucker Leng was a bonus."

"What does that…"

"Look Shepard, you're a hero, but you didn't do any of it for you, for me, for that pissy matron over there giving me the stink-eye. You did it for T'Soni."

"Of course I love Liara, but…"

"Enough," Aria interrupted. "I've been where you are. Where you're trying to rationalize the choices you've made, the sacrifices, the losses. She's your Omega. When the weight of the galaxy gets too heavy, just look at your bondmate, and remind yourself that you did it for her."

"I don't know if you can understand what I've been through, what I've seen."

Aria shook her head. "I don't need to." She waited to see if Shepard would try to contradict before continuing.

"Go home, Shepard."

Sarah slowly stood from her barstool, and turned for the door without another word.

"Oh, and Shepard?"

The human turned.

" _You_ drink for free," Aria indicated Denai and the various commandos. "These fuckers pay."


	16. Signals

**Summary:  
** Liara knows when Shepard's coming home

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Monday 8/14's Prompt: 100 Word Drabble

* * *

Liara woke with a smile, a weight lifted from her heart.

Shepard was on Thessia. Her bondmate was coming home.

Members of the House might assume that Liara knew this through their bond.

Others, because Shepard called to say she was coming home.

Which made no sense, because Shepard never remembered to call,

And had no idea how to follow a schedule, no matter how detailed.

Liara padded down the stairs, her tread the light footsteps of a maiden who would soon be in the arms of her bondmate.

Shepard would be home soon, she knew.

Denai had made coffee.


	17. I Can Do This

**Summary:  
** Shepard could use some practice in her self affirmation skills

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Tuesday 8/15's Prompt: Past, Present, Future all in the same fic

* * *

Shepard blinked as she noticed the time. Mid-afternoon. _'Huh'_

Technically it was the middle of her duty shift, but in practice Pressly ran the day to day on the Normandy, just like she had expected to when she was XO. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, wondering if the tightness she felt in her eyes was the result of too much caffeine, too long staring at her terminal, or both.

 _'You can never have too much caffeine,'_ she reminded herself.

She had duty rosters, procurement reports, material consumption data, and even personnel reviews that needed her attention. She also knew that after seven hours of admin work, the likelihood that she would get much more done today was fairly low. She still had data that the Council had forwarded to her to review that she had yet to even glance at.

Anything forwarded to her by Tevos tended to be dry as a bone and twice as dull. Fortunately she knew someone who could her review it, and even boil it down into small, Commander Shepard sized, key points. All she'd have to do would be to bribe her with ice cream.

Still, seven hours of work was deserving of a break. She was new to her command, and her pride wouldn't let her do less than her best. She also knew that meant taking care of herself both mentally and physically.

Rationalization fully achieved, Shepard stepped out of her cabin, datapad in hand. She was already mentally preparing her request for Liara's assistance.

The hatch to her cabin barely closed behind her when she heard Wrex' booming voice.

"…And then she told Fist she wasn't his problem! Ha! Turns out that the handsome krogan next to her was. He never saw it coming."

"He was unarmed, Wrex," she heard Garrus remind him.

Wrex and Garrus in the mess? That was unusual. Shepard hesitated, still not rounding the corner into their view.

"Shepard seems to follow a very specific set of rules Garrus." Now Tali had chimed in. "But she also doesn't force others to follow them."

"Good," Wrex again. "Not that I would have let her get between me and Fist, but I'm glad it wasn't necessary. Blowing up geth has been a lot of fun." There was a pause that sounded like he was taking a drink. "Worked out to your advantage too, Tali. If we'd taken time to argue over Fist, we might not have have made it to rescue you from Saren's men."

"Rescue is something the commander seems to do very well."

At the sound of Liara's voice, Shepard's legs seemed to move forward of their own volition, carrying her to the mess, and into the conversation being held by her nonhuman squadmates.

"Hey guys." Four heads turned in her direction. Although she could only read the emotion on one of the faces, that emotion seemed welcoming? Pleasantly surprised?

"Shepard," Wrex greeted the commander with a nod as he rose from the table. "Wondered what you were up to. Dull around here today. You planning to liven it up?"

"I wish, Wrex." She waved her datapad. "Just paperwork. We've got two days until we get to the next reported geth sighting. Not much else to do until then."

He passed her on his way back to the table, having poured himself a glass of something horrible looking that Shepard hoped was at least non-alcoholic. "If you're going after geth, I want in," he said as he sat down. This time he'd positioned himself at the opposite end of the table from Liara, leaving the only spot available the one he'd previously occupied next to the asari. It was almost as if he'd been looking out for her, and now that the commander was present he was passing that detail off to Shepard. The commander shook her head at the ridiculous thought even as she sat next to the young archaeologist. Liara seemed to shift a little in her direction, but Shepard convinced herself it was probably just wishful thinking.

"Have I missed anything?" Shepard wondered what brought all the nonhumans together, and hoped it wasn't some anti-alien comment from a member of the crew.

"Just killing time, Shepard." Garrus was the first to respond. "Tali came out of the engine room while the mako was running a diagnostic cycle, so we came up here." He indicated the empty mess. "Not that anything's going on here either."

Sarah nodded. "We've got a couple of days of downtime. I imagine that most everyone who's off duty is either catching up on sleep, or relaxing until dinner."

Tali nodded, one of the few forms of nonverbal communications that Shepard could read through the quarian's suit. "Adams made me leave engineering. He said I was working too hard, and that I had to take at least an 8 hour break." She bowed her head shyly. "I set a timer."

"And I followed them up here," added Wrex, without justifying doing so.

They all turned to Liara, who was holding her cup of tea to her lips. Her eyes widened. "I did not really…"

Wrex waved an arm in her direction. "I brought Blue out here. She can't sit in that closet all the time." He looked around, as if daring someone to contradict him.

Liara looked like she was about to panic. "I don't mind! Really! It has everything I need!"

"Uh, OK?" Shepard was nonplussed at Liara's outburst. She looked around the table, wondering if it was related to an earlier part of the conversation. "Tell me if you do need something though, all right?"

"I promise, Shepard." Liara's demeanor eased back to its usual calm. Shepard thought she was on the verge of whiplash as Liara reached over to claim the commander's datapad. "Is that another message from Tevos?"

 _'Damn,'_ thought Shepard. Maybe she was a bit more transparent than she'd hoped. "I thought maybe you could help me again with some of the context?"

Liara simply met her eyes. Shepard had no idea how long she stared into the dazzling blue before Liara's response registered. "Of course, Shepard." She stood and started towards the medbay. "Perhaps we can take this somewhere where we will not disturb the others?" The medbay hatch closed on her final word.

The others just looked at her in silence, before she finally rose. "Well, back to work." She turned before Wrex could have time to make a snide comment.

 _"I can do this,"_ she reassured herself as she made her way to the medbay.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

It was time to go.

The Normandy had been at Hagalaz for nearly a week.

First they had engaged the Shadow Broker. Then there had been repairs and assistance required to keep the broker's base flight worthy. Chakwas had wanted some time with Feron as well, waving off the drell's objections as she treated him for the abuse he'd received during two years of confinement.

Most of that week though, and been spent in the dance. The dance with Liara. The dance where they had said so much, while saying as little as possible. Talking while avoiding such subjects as her death, the time Liara had spent on Illium as an information broker, her fixation on Feron, their relationship.

Gods, their relationship.

Shepard had wallowed into Illium this last time barely functioning. The mission, meeting with Anderson, her visit to Thessia, all of it meaningless. Her matter-of-fact interactions with Liara had left her despondent. She'd continued to return to Illium, spacing out her missions, each providing an opportunity to see Liara again, to try to win back the doctor's heart.

Liara had asked about her health, but had otherwise seemed distracted. She'd allowed Shepard to assist her in minor ways, but had never opened up to the human, was never willing to discuss what had happened while she'd been gone.

Drinking in Eternity, Shepard had almost convinced herself that it wasn't worth it. The galaxy could just go to hell. She'd be letting down her squad, the crew, her family back on Thessia. Hell, she'd be killing them, let's be honest with herself. She just couldn't being herself to care. A galaxy where she wasn't with Liara wasn't worth saving. She knew it was selfish of her, knew it wasn't fair to everyone she'd be giving to the reapers. It just didn't matter.

Then Miranda had found her. She'd needed assistance to rescue her sister, help only Commander Shepard could provide. Into the breach once more.

Afterwards her XO had something else. A dossier containing information that could lead Liara to the Shadow Broker's base. The base the Normandy was currently docked with. Suddenly Liara was more animated than Shepard had seen her since her resurrection. The information had led them to fighting their way across Illium, ignoring each other during the flight to Sowilo, and finally to this.

Sarah looked at the asari sleeping next to her. Liara was curled around one of Shepard's pillows like her life depended on it. Otherwise, the maiden looked relaxed, content. Shepard had no way of knowing that this was the first time Liara had appeared so in over two years.

But it wasn't enough. Shepard had tried to show her everything in the meld, but Liara had held back, only tentatively sharing herself. Sarah needed to know where she stood, needed Liara to know how she felt, how she'd loved her, how she was serious about "little blue children." And if Liara didn't feel the same, well, the Normandy could probably outrun the reapers until she died of old age.

Shepard steeled herself as she reached for Liara's shoulder, hesitant to wake the beautiful asari, but knowing she couldn't wait any longer.

 _'I can do this,'_ she thought.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She cupped Liara's face, trying to ignore the smears of blood and grime her gauntleted hand left behind.

"You mean everything to me, Liara. You always will." It was no exaggeration, and both knew it.

Shepard backed away, focusing her eyes on Liara's face, imprinting it to memory, refusing to let her eyes wander downward to the asari's wounded leg, and the blood pooling beneath it.

"I am yours," Liara's breathless reply.

Sarah took every ounce of strength she had to wave her arm to the soldiers on the ramp, and Garrus specifically. "Go!"

She could hear the Normandy lift behind her, as she ran towards the beam, towards Harbinger.

 _'I can't do this,'_ she thought as she stumbled forward, _'But I'm going to do it anyway.'_


	18. Error

**Summary:  
** Liara is settling into her new role

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Wednesday 8/16's Prompt: A piece from your life as fanfiction  
Because Liara has IT issues too...

* * *

Liara sat back and reviewed her work.

Her predecessor possessed no small amount of intelligence, but his organizational skills had left something to be desired.

Apparently the Yahg had depended upon a single drone, along with his formidable memory, as the only methods of cataloging the massive amounts of data that he had accumulated over the course of decades.

The asari scientist was unwilling to trust such methods, and had set herself the task of indexing and cataloguing the Broker's data library. Her intention was to be able to use methods she's developed over years as a researcher to make data retrieval more efficient, and any data received more easily grouped by relevance. Her plan had the advantage of allowing the data feeding into the Broker's network to become immediately useful to her, without having to be reviewed in advance by her, Feron, or the drone.

Feron had proven himself remarkable skilled in finding correlating datasets as well, although he himself did not have her talent for database design. They worked well together in converting the massive storehouse of data that had been provided to them into a manageable and usable form.

The faster the better, as far as she was concerned. If it were up to her, she'd spend all her time examining the data, evaluating it. The information that the Broker had on the Protheans alone would be enough to keep her busy until the was a matron.

If she were to live that long, she reminded herself.

However, she needed the automation, the self-indexing, the centralized catalogs. As much as she wanted to analyze the data available to her, the majority of her day was spent interacting with her network of agents. The former broker had allowed very little freedom in his underlings, requiring all decisions to be forwarded to him. She agreed that was probably a safer practice than allowing her agents autonomy, especially given how the former broker had advanced into his position. Still, it was time consuming, and Liara felt it a poor use of her finite resources.

Another hindrance was that the information drone had yet to be brought back online.

While Liara preferred her efficiencies to be gained in how data was collected and organized, the former broker had used the drone to execute procedures in the event of established criteria. Hence, while the broker did interact with his agents on an almost daily frequency, the drone had handled any exceptions that came to light.

While she waited for the most recent cycle of indexing to complete, Liara turned her attention to the drone. She'd already changed several of its operating parameters, as well as most of the pre-programmed responses. Unfortunately, the drone had been custom designed by the broker himself, and there were many subroutines that simply defied elimination. It did now only refer to her as the Shadow Broker, something that she was almost ashamed to admit gave her a tingle of pride.

She powered on the drone, and waited for it to finish the boot cycle.

"Greetings, Shadow Broker."

Well, at least it was polite. Now that it was fully online, she tested her most recent round of reprogramming.

"Infodrone, assume standard operations."

"Of course, Shadow Broker." The drone hovered, spinning.

After a moment, it demanded her attention.

"Shadow Broker, agent 143 is siphoning funds from her discretionary account to a private one."

"Noted, Infodrone." She was really going to have to come up with an easier method of address. "I will take care of it."

"There is a wetwork team sixty seven kilometers from her position. I will notify them that agent 143 is a designated target."

"No!" She couldn't have the drone killing people on its own. Goddess, what if it went after the Council?

"Agent 143 has exhibited behavior that meets termination criteria," the drone insisted.

"Thank you for the information." If the drone could be polite, so could she.

"There is a wetwork team sixty seven kilometers from her position. I will notify them that agent 143 is a designated target," the drone repeated.

She rolled her eyes. "No, you cannot simply kill people on your own. I forbid it."

"There are several designated criteria for automatic termination. Embezzlement of Shadow Broker funds is listed as number six. Historical behavior patterns have demonstrated that success in one transgression will lead to others, until a crisis level is reached. This may result in a reduction in perceived Shadow Broker strength, which could embolden others to also transgress."

 _'Spoken like a Yahg,'_ she thought, although the drone had a point. "Understood."

"There is a wetwork team sixty seven kilometers from her position. I will notify them that agent 143 is a designated target," the drone said again.

This time Liara demonstrated her frustration by thrusting her omni-blade through the drone, reducing it to sputtering fragments.

"What happened?" Feron's voice sounded from her terminal.

"Just a malfunction," she replied. "I'm still having issues with the drone."

"Arashu take that dammed drone," Liara heard the drell murmur.

"Feron?"

"Your drone. He hates me," came the sullen response.

"It is a machine, Feron. It cannot hate anyone," she said in her "educator" tone. "Please restore from yesterday's backup. I fear that all the work I've done on it today was for naught."

"That's a big file. It will take about an hour."

"I know, Feron."

The Drell didn't respond, just disconnected the call.

Liara sighed as she frowned sadly before reactivating her terminal.

"Team Occisor, this is the Shadow Broker." She paused a moment to wet her lips. "Agent 143 has exhibited behavior that meets termination criteria…"


	19. Distraction

**Summary:  
** Liara is Shepard's break from the war

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Saturday 8/19's Prompt: Domestic Bliss

* * *

"You're too good to me, Shepard."

"Impossible," Sarah replied around a mouthful of eggs.

Liara lifted her fork, indicating the meal in front of her. "Breakfast? Clean clothes upstairs? All our correspondence with the House addressed and responded to? I'm better taken care of here on the Citadel than I am when we're at home." Her tone changed to match her seriousness. "You have a war to coordinate, Shepard. As much as I appreciate all this, I don't want to be a distraction."

Shepard looked up from her meal, gave her that sad little smile that always made Liara want to give her a hug. "I need the distraction. I need it as much as I need your data, Garrus' gun or Hackett's support. I need to keep my hands busy. I need to do something other than just grind through one battle after another."

She took a drink of her coffee. "And if that benefits you in some small way, that's good for both of us."

"What you should be doing is relaxing, Shepard. Getting rest, enjoying your down time."

"You don't think that I enjoy watching you try to eat a cupcake?" Shepard teased.

"You didn't warn me that it was going to fall apart," accused Liara.

"What's the fun in that?"

"I had frosting all over me!"

"All part of my diabolical plan," Sarah confirmed. "Didn't I help get it off?"

"Well, of course you…" Liara stopped, eyes wide. "You did that on purpose?"

"Not exactly," Shepard demurred, "But I can improvise when an opportunity presents itself."

With that Liara placed her fork on her plate, and put her napkin to her mouth before grabbing her bondmate by the wrist and leading her towards the stairs.

"Wait!" Shepard was barely able to put her coffee cup down without spilling it. "What are you doing?"

"Improvising."

"What about the dishes?"

"They can wait. You have other household duties to attend to."


	20. Resignation

**Summary:  
** Miranda tries to sever her ties, but finds out that it's harder than she thinks

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Thursday 8/17's Prompt: Breaking Up

* * *

She entered the comm code from memory, having long since deleted any contact information from her omni-tool.

She waited with practiced patience while her call routed itself through various false points of origin, until it finally connected her with her former employer.

"Miss Lawson, I'm surprised to hear from you."

The Illusive Man hadn't turned around. That alone told her that she was definitely persona non grata in the Cerberus organization. Not that she expected anything less. She'd made herself a dangerous enemy in the man projected on her 'tool. Just how dangerous remained to be seen.

Not that she wasn't dangerous too.

"You left a message. It would be rude not to return it." A message indeed. One word to a blind drop. "Call", it had said.

"And I thank you for that." He still hadn't turned around. "Miranda, I just wanted to tell you, no hard feelings. We worked well together, but we both know it was time for you to move on."

He was drawing this out. She glanced at the timestamp in the projection, calculating how long it would take him to break her deception and identify her actual location.

"There was a time," he continued, "when I believed you to be my heir apparent. That someday you would take over the reigns when I retired."

"Retirement," she shook her head. "I find the idea of you retiring to be unlikely."

"It was one idea, and a misguided one at that. You see Miranda, you were always focused on the task, the goal at hand. You saw the need to elevate humanity in the galaxy, but you would have accepted parity with the other species. That's not enough for newcomers like us. For us to truly be respected, we need to be feared, we need to be able to overpower the other races, destroy them if necessary." He shook his head. "You lack vision."

"I have no desire to see humanity go the way of the krogan, or the rachni. Our interactions with other races are steadily improving. If you didn't believe that, why work with Shepard? She's practically a xenophile."

"The commander is not the topic of this discussion," he replied coldly. "Nor of any other that we might have in the future."

A sore spot there, she noticed. She hadn't decided if it was worth pursuing before he continued.

"Eden Prime is an unusual location for a fugitive, don't you think?" The fourth lie of the conversation, not that Miranda was keeping count. This was his way of letting her know that the first layer of misdirection had been pierced. They both knew she wasn't on Eden Prime, but it was all part of the dance. The next location he'd uncover would be Australia, on Earth. He might pause there, knowing that sentimentality was not in her nature, but then she might very well go there because it wasn't in her nature.

"But the weather is lovely this time of year," A lie for a lie, that. Constant was in the middle of its rainy season, and no other city on the planet was deserving of the name.

He nodded as if receiving a truth. "You've done me another favor as well, Miranda. In addition to eliminating the exorbitant costs associated with maintaining the Normandy from Cerberus responsibility, your departure has allowed me to reopen ties with Henry." He took a drag from his cigarette. "A good friend, Henry. He's been waiting for an opportunity to be able to provide support to the cause again. It was good to see him, to talk about old times."

Miranda was losing track of the lies now. Was this seven? Eight? He was working on the third relay point by now, with two to go. Time to wrap this up.

"I'm pleased that we've been able to part on such good terms." Years of deception allowed her to keep a straight face.

"You were a valued member of the organization for many years, Miranda." He finally turned. "Feel free to use us as a reference."

All right, he almost got her with that one. She'd forgotten how charming he could be, for someone so malicious.

"Good-bye, Miranda. My best to your sister."

And just like that, she was back to hating him, hating everything he'd done, everything he'd stood for. Hating what he'd turned her so willingly into.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

She opened the door to the privacy booth, a common fixture on Illium, where eavesdropping was practically a competitive sport. She stepped out quickly, almost colliding with a tall asari.

"Pardon me," she said, averting her face. She had no desire to be recognized. Not here, not where anything could be had for a price, especially a hit.

"You are safe, Miranda," came the surprising reply, causing the former Cerberus operative to reach for her sidearm. "I am here to protect, not harm."

The human just shook her head in disgust, even as she recognized Anedra. _'So much for not blowing my cover.'_ She tried to give the asari the brush off. "Thanks, I'm fine. You can tell Liara…"

"The Lady T'Soni is not on Illium."

That drew Miranda up short. "Then who…?"

"I am here at Eliata's direction Ma'am."

Miranda peered up at the asari, desiring to get out of sight, but wanting to solve this mystery as well. At least Eliata was a name she knew from her reconnaissance on Liara. "Thank you, but…"

The asari raised her arm, activating her omni tool. She entered a swift series of commands, and Miranda's tool beeped an acknowledgement. "These are funds, safe houses, resources. There are also single use comm codes to be used in the event additional assets are required."

Wonderful. Now she'd have to destroy this 'tool as compromised. "Anything else?"

"We recommend that you do not attempt to make contact with Liara, or Shepard for that matter, directly. This would be anticipated, and could place you in jeopardy."

 _'Thanks for the tip,'_ she thought sarcastically. One last question. Her skin was already crawling under the tension of imagined pursuit.

"Why are you doing this?"

"We are tasked with protecting the family," came the stoic response.

"Are you kidding? I saved Shepard. I'm no threat to them."

"I'm here for you, not them," Anedra clarified.

"Of course you are." She shook her head. "Thanks, but I've got to disappear."

The asari nodded in understanding. "Three Cerberus agents arrived in Nos Astra this morning. They have been dealt with. You should be safe until tomorrow."

Anedra turned to leave. "Good luck to you."

Miranda watched the asari walk away, dumbfounded.

By the time she'd switched cabs for the third time she still didn't know if she should be more angry at Liara, or Shepard.


	21. Responsibility

**Summary:  
** Shepard visits Liara on Illium

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Friday 8/18's Prompt: Involve your pet

* * *

"I'm hungry, Shepard."

Sarah looked down at the head in her lap, and was greeted by a sleepy smile. The dappled shadows created by the rain streaked windows did nothing to diminish Liara's beauty.

That didn't stop Shepard from teasing her, however.

"How can you be hungry? It isn't like you've been burning any energy. You slept through almost the entire vid." Honestly she might have nodded off once or twice as well. Documentaries weren't usually her cup of tea, unless of course they were about things that exploded.

"Perhaps I would like to be prepared for when I _will_ be using energy?" Liara's smile was suddenly far less sleepy.

The boring vid became unimportant in Sarah's mind. She looked over her shoulder towards the kitchen, but it was a useless effort, as she knew what she would find there. A motley assortment of dirty dishes, used glasses, an empty wine bottle or two. The only thing in the apartment fit for human (or asari) consumption was probably the protein bars that Liara seemed to have made a large part of her diet over the last two years. The few pre-prepared meals that were present when Shepard arrived had been casualties of the first day of her visit. Sarah shook her head. Her girl was many things, but a cook wasn't one of them. Good thing she had that covered.

Cooking wasn't an option, that left delivery. She looked down at her love, who was beginning to show signs of impatience. "What were you thinking of? Pizza? Salarian? I thought I saw a new krogan place advertised in the cab on the way here."

Liara shuddered as she sat up. "No krogan. Asari have some foods that are served still alive as well, but none that fight back." She brightened. "How about sushi? There is a sushi restaurant that recently opened in the human quarter of the Kalanra markets." She tried to contain her enthusiasm. "They have been highly reviewed."

Sarah pretended to consider for a moment before acquiescing. "Sounds good. I've about reached my limit on prepacs," she indicated the mess in the kitchen. "Although if you can get me the basics, I can at least make pancakes in the morning. Tomorrow's the last day before I have to go."

Liara's face fell as she stood, not liking the reminder of Shepard's departure. The Normandy required a little over seventy five hours for refuel and resupply, and Shepard had promised to spend every one of those hours in Liara's apartment. So far, the spectre had kept her promise.

She turned towards the stairs, taking a few steps before realizing that Shepard had not followed.

"Are you not coming, Shepard?"

Sarah indicated her now empty lap. "Do you see a problem here?"

"Nothing that I have a problem with Shepard," Liara allowed herself a smirk, "but you should probably wear pants if we are going to go out."

"Exactly! That's the point. What did I do when I got here?"

"Pinned me to the refrigerator with your biotics?"

Sarah grinned at the memory. "Before that."

"You undressed with remarkable speed, and then chased me through my own apartment."

"And as I was doing that, I clearly remember saying that I was not putting pants back on until I had to go back to the Normandy."

Liara shook her head as she considered her sometimes childish bondmate. "I had no idea that you were being serious, Shepard."

"I might have not been then, but I've had two days to get used to it now. I may never wear pants again," the human declared with conviction.

Liara changed direction as she turned towards her office, and the terminal contained therein. "I will call a service to have the food delivered." She wouldn't have minded going out with Shepard, but honestly wasn't all that disappointed. The only difficulty now might lie in keeping her hands off her bondmate until the food arrived.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The sushi had been excellent, even though holding off Shepard's advances while waiting for it to arrive had been a special kind of torture. They'd both seen the humor in the incongruity of their seafood dinner being delivered by a hanar, although it had caused Liara to reflect that asari dining habits might be part of the reason that she remembered having seen so few hanar on Thessia while growing up.

They'd taken their dinner to the bedroom like a couple of children, and then proceeded to do very un-childlike things. They'd finally taken a break with Shepard feeding Liara her dinner in the cool glow of the fish tank. Liara had enjoyed the attention, and now watched as her bondmate ate her own dinner with equal creativity. Shepard was amusing herself by placing her tuna on Liara's stomach, then eating it without using her hands. Liara had to admit she was enjoying the sensations very much.

Shepard finally rolled over, resting her head on Liara's chest, facing the asari and the fish tank.

"You've done a great job with those," she remarked, indicating the tank.

Liara hesitated. "I have?"

Sarah nodded as she stroked Liara's cheek. "Just like everything else you do. If keeping my fish alive was the criteria by which my 'saving the galaxy' skills would be judged, let's just say that we should have a plan B ready."

"But every time I have been aboard the Normandy…"

"Not me," she confided. "I forgot to take care of them all the time, at least until you bought me those skald fish."

Liara smiled as she stroked Sarah's hair. "They seemed appropriate."

"Well, I couldn't let them die like the first few rounds." She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "Yeoman Chambers has been feeding them for me."

It took Liara a moment to subdue the momentary twinge of jealousy she felt at Kelly's name. Obviously Shepard expected it too, or she wouldn't have referred to the redhead as "Yeoman Chambers." Honestly, this was probably only the second time that the word yeoman had come out of Shepard's mouth since she'd been resurrected. It didn't matter. She trusted Shepard, reflexively possessive thoughts to the contrary. If anything, Shepard should be the one questioning her, given the reception the spectre has received during her first few visits to Illium.

"In that case Shepard, I have a confession as well." She reached to her omni-tool on the nightstand.

"Oh?" Shepard questioned teasingly. "You get yourself one of those fancy fish feeding VIs?"

"Nothing so expensive," replied the asari as she tapped her 'tool. There was momentary buzz as the fish disappeared.

Sarah sat up in horror. "What did you do to them?"

Liara shook her head sadly. "They were never there, Shepard. They were holograms. I knew how much you seemed to find peace in watching your fish, that is why I purchased the skald fish for you." She hung her head. "I tried to recreate that for you here as well," she sighed. "But I was never able to keep them alive."

"Oh, Liara," Sarah pulled the asari close. "It's all right."

"It seems I am not a responsible pet owner."

"You've done OK with me so far."


	22. Holidays

**Summary:  
** It's that time of year... at least it is on Thessia

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Monday 8/21's Prompt: A Holiday Celebration

* * *

Garrus looked over as the elevator opened onto the cargo bay, his preemptive work on the Normandy's shiny new Mako interrupted by the sound.

Shepard stepped out, haltingly, hesitantly. This was nothing at all like her typically authoritative entrance, the self-assured commander striding into the cargo bay as if she owned the place. Well, that was close enough to the truth, at any rate.

She looked left and right, as if placing the occupants of the bay in her mind. A brief nod to the supply officer, and another to Wrex, eliciting a nod and grunt in return. Her gaze lingered perhaps a bit too long on the empty armory station. Kaidan had been assigning marines in rotation through armorer duty, but no one had been permanently assigned to the post vacated by Chief Williams.

After a moment Shepard's pace increased, her destination obvious. Garrus sighed as he slid out from under the Mako, not looking forward to the effort it would take to put himself back in that position once Shepard had gone.

He'd just managed to extricate himself from the cramped quarters when Shepard squatted down beside him.

"Busy?"

If Garrus could have rolled his eyes in an obvious manner, he would have. Sure he was busy. It wasn't in his nature, in a turian's nature, to sit idle. How Wrex could sit across the bay and watch him work all day was beyond him.

On the other hand, he could freely admit what he was doing could be classified as busywork. It was almost impossible to coax extra performance from a vehicle that had never seen use. Until Shepard took it out in the field, Garrus had no idea how this new machine would respond to the spectre's abuse. For now, he was happy to enjoy a vehicle that wasn't held together by omni-gel and parts manufactured in the field.

"Nothing pressing. What can I do for you, Shepard?"

The human sat back on her knees. "If you're busy…"

Oh. It was going to be one of _those_ conversations.

"It's fine. It was either this or be bored. I can't just polish my armor all day like some people."

They were both treated to a deep chuckle from across the bay.

"You know what Janiris is, right?"

"Of course I do, Shepard. I was in C-Sec. Nothing like the holiday season to give everyone a justification to cut loose." He shook his head. "Not just the asari, either. We had just as many non-asari in for drunk and disorderly." He shrugged at the look Shepard gave him. "Everyone looks for a reason to party. Since there are more asari than anyone else on the Citadel, all the other species celebrate their own holidays, and theirs." He interrupted when Shepard started to take a breath. "And yes, I know it starts this week. You planning on throwing a party for Liara?"

"Well fuck," Shepard murmured under her breath before continuing. "This conversation was almost pointlessly easy."

Garrus chuckled. "If you'd asked me about a human holiday it would have probably been harder. No one cares about those."

"Yeah, me either," Shepard confirmed. "Anyway, an extranet search on Janiris was no help at all. I've found everything from formal feasts to drunken revelry. I even called the house back on Thessia, but Denai was no help. All she said was that we needed to "honor the goddess" or some shit."

Garrus nodded in agreement. "House T'Soni? Sure. They're probably pretty formal about the whole thing, with different rituals to celebrate each of the sixteen days of the festival." He paused as Shepard's eyes got wide. "Spirits, Shepard. We're on a mission. Just throw her a damn party, get her a gift, and you'll be fine. Is that what you needed to hear?"

"Maybe. I never know what's enough. I see her as the scientist we rescued on Therum, and then every time we go to Thessia I'm reminded that she could buy Arcturus if she wanted to. It's hard to impress a girl like that, you know?"

Garrus wrapped his talon's around Shepard's upper arm, gently as earlier mistakes had taught him. "You've already impressed her, Shepard. She'd be happy with a bottle of ryncol and field rations."

"Maybe," Shepard grinned, "But _I_ wouldn't be."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Everything was going well. Sergeant Crosby had outdone himself with the Normandy's mess, delivering a celebratory feast that was seemed half Thanksgiving, half barbecue.

The crew had gotten into the spirit easily enough. Like Garrus had said, everyone looks for a reason to party. If the commander said the holidays came in August, then they were more than willing to celebrate the holidays. The meal was a hit, and the booze as well. Kaidan had disabled the comms in the cockpit to spare everyone the torture of Joker's singing, but otherwise all was well. Even Dr. Chakwas had made an appearance, miserly portioning shots of her brandy as the evening progressed.

Shepard checked the hour for what seemed like the hundredth time. She knew Liara had a tendency to lose track of herself when she was particularly engaged in something, so Shepard had initially chosen to wait for Liara to make an appearance. As the party entered its third hour however, the commander decided that direct intervention might be required.

She excused herself from the table where several crewmen were discussing how many geth she'd kill this time out. ' _Probably not many,'_ she thought as rose. So far they hadn't seen one. She made her way through the empty medbay, and signaled for entry into Liara's cabin.

When Liara didn't answer, she signaled again, finally overriding her way through the door.

The room she entered was dark, and just as quiet as the medbay she'd left behind. She waited a moment for her eyes to adjust, taking in the room that while still used for storage, was also closer to a cabin than it had been since the Normandy's refit at Arcturus.

Liara was sitting at her desk, with her face in her hands. Sarah moved quietly to join her, softly asking "Are you all right?" As she both placed her hands on the asari's shoulders and kissed the top of her crest. "I thought I'd better check on you when you when you didn't come out."

"I am fine, Shepard." Liara's shaky tone belied her words.

"Uh huh." Shepard lifted her from her desk, and steered her to her bunk where she sat down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"It has been many years since I have celebrated Janiris. Even more since I celebrated it at home."

"Oh god, Liara. I had no idea. You didn't need to come with me to Arcturus. You could have joined the Normandy after the holidays…" Shepard tried to find a way to comfort the asari. "There's still almost two weeks left to Janiris. You can head back to the estate, and join us afterwards."

Liara's head hung low. "I did not mean it like that, Shepard. It has been so long since I had spent the holiday with my mother." She looked up now, turning to Sarah, "But I always could have. Nothing actually prevented me, except my own anger, my stubbornness, my insistence that she acknowledge that I was right."

 _'Oh crap,'_ Sarah knew exactly where this was going. She'd been there herself. Many times.

"She will not be there now, Shepard." Liara's voice was almost a shout. "I will never spend another Janiris with my mother. Nor a life celebration, nor a siari festival, or go sailing. Everything I have ever done with my mother, I have done for the last time. I cannot even describe how that feels." Now her voice dropped to a whisper. "I am ashamed that I did not feel it before now."

Sarah did the only thing she could, she pulled Liara close to her and held her tight.

Liara tried to pull way. "No, Shepard. You should go to the party. I will join you when I feel better."

Shepard just held her more tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."


	23. Study

**Summary:  
** Liara has to study

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Wednesday 8/23's prompt: Under the age of 18/in their youth  
Youth, in this case. An under 18 Liara would be a very young asari.

* * *

"Not now, I have to study."

"But we have to practice."

"No, we do not have to practice," refuted Liara. "But I do have to study."

Carvkae started bouncing the skyball she held against the wall. "How do you expect to win if we don't practice?"

Liara seized the ball with a pull, and took a deep breath before responding. It would do no good to let her anger show. Carvkae had long since learned that making her angry brought her one step closer to acquiescence, if only to make the other maiden leave her alone. "The team has not lost a match since I was a freshman, Carvkae. Today is our day off, and I have to study."

Carvkae lunged for the ball, but Liara was prepared, and lobbed out the open door to her dorm room. The other maiden turned away to chase it as the ball bounced away down the hallway.

With a sigh, Liara returned to the works of Matriarch Searada. The researcher had been among the first to translate ancient Prothean. Although she had drawn no conclusions in her research, so much of Liara's studies were based on Searada's original writings. It seemed so many asari who came after had tried to interpret Prothean civilization, Searada simply provided the language from which future researchers might draw their own conclusions. Liara had started doing just that. In fact, by going back to the source, she had become convinced that she herself needed to go into field as often as she could. So much of what she was reading didn't seem to support the current understanding of Prothean civilization. This was not a civilization that had been in decline, eventually deteriorating into a state of collapse. And if they were conquered, where were the conquerors? What was the proof? She was on the edge of revelation…

* THUMP *

The skyball impacted on the side of Liara's head, causing her to drop her datapad. She whirled on her attacker, ice in her glare.

"Enough studying! You've been hiding in here all day. Put on your shoes, and we're going to the practice field." It took the maiden a moment to realize that while Liara had not replied, she had collected the skyball from where it landed, and was now circling her.

"Uh, all right. That might have been a little uncalled for, but I'm an anchor. I can't practice alone. You know that. Just a couple of hours and you can come back to your…"

"I said," Liara took a step forward, "I need," another step, "to STUDY!"

The smaller maiden blazed like a star as she drew the skyball back, throwing it at Carvkae with all the speed and mass she could muster, blowing both out the open window into the courtyard below.

Liara had the presence of mind to at least check to see how Carvkae landed, but when she looked out the window, the other maiden was holding the skyball, and still sinking slowly towards the ground.

"Perfect!" She yelled with a smile. "That's the spirit we'll need next match!" Her feet touched down lightly on the grass. "I'll be back in an hour!" She turned and sprinted away.

Liara took a step back from the window. "Goddess," she muttered.

She picked up her datapad, inspecting it for cracks. When she found none she sat back at her desk, attempting to salvage her train of thought.

The noise from outside was a mild distraction, and she considered closing the window until she remembered Carvkae was coming back.

The university would likely not believe it an accident if she broke another window.


	24. Tie

**Summary:  
** Shepard has a reputation

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Tuesday 8/22's prompt: A one-shot off of a longer fic  
Technically, the majority of these prompts have been part of, or one shots in, my Cari'ssi'mi series

* * *

"How many is this, Shepard?"

"Shut up Vakarian."

Garrus stood behind the commander, watching the Citadel grow large in the cockpit windows.

"There was already a procedure for this and everything. How many of these have you destroyed?"

Shepard spun on her heel, hands on her hips as she glared up at the former C-Sec officer. "There's a procedure for this because it's how we usually deploy for ground missions. We only have one. If it's lost or destroyed, it has to be replaced."

"But they didn't even seem _surprised_ , Shepard. This can't have been the first time this happened." Garrus was enjoying every minute of this.

"First time she lost one to a volcano," came a muted comment from the flight couch.

The commander presented her back to Garrus as she turned to Joker. "Unless you want your next posting to be behind a desk, I suggest you keep the commentary to yourself, Lieutenant."

"Yes, Commander," replied Joker with a chuckle. "He's right though, you do have a reputation for losing ground vehicles."

"I do not," protested the commander. "And even if I did, this wasn't my fault. I wasn't even driving it when the mountain exploded."

"An explosion you triggered," reminded Garrus.

"Vakarian…"

Garrus raised his hands in capitulation.

"Enough of this," Shepard shouldered her way around the turian. "Joker, let me know when we dock," she called over her shoulder as she proceeded back to the CIC.

Joker waited a moment to see if Shepard had more to say before turning to Garrus. "Tie?"

"Tie."

"Double or nothing?"

"You seem to better able to piss her off than I am. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead."

"Two for one?"

"Deal."


	25. Pest

**Summary:  
** Shepard brings a pest aboard the Normandy

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Thursday 8/24's prompt: A challenge given to you by someone else  
Daniscats challened with "bedbugs"

* * *

"Shepard!"

Shepard threw herself from her bunk with reflexes honed over a decade and a half of combat. Her body already in motion as she awakened, her tired brain struggling to both perform a self assessment, and achieve situational awareness even as she gained consciousness.

Data trickled in as she shed the last vestiges of sleep. She was in her cabin. Air and temperature appeared normal (she always checked those first now). There were no obvious threats visible. Liara was present.

Her arc was already in the downward part of its trajectory as she processed that information, coinciding with the arrival of the additional data that her left leg was still pinned under the asari. Also, the floor was rushing up to meet her face.

She almost got her hands up in time.

"Shepard!" Wrex' bellow penetrated the distracting sensations of her aching elbows and stinging nose.

"What!?" Obviously there was already an open comm, and she was currently in no mood for civility. Liara blinked blearily at her outburst. How she'd managed to sleep through Wrex' yelling, the commander had no idea.

"You've got a problem down here Shepard," responded Wrex as he ignored Shepard's obvious ire. "You need to take care of it."

"What is it Wrex?" She asked, slightly mollified. "The Council? The Dalatrass?" Her voice lowered, "You're not having a problem with Victus are you? I need him."

"Just get down here, Shepard. I'm in the cargo bay." The krogan closed the connection.

That was a surprise. The spectre glanced at the chronometer as she started collecting pieces of the prior day's uniform from the deck. The new day wasn't far enough along to justify a clean one.

"Shepard? What's wrong?" A sleepy question from the bed, as the commander slipped on her boots.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." She might have three hours under belt if she was lucky, but if she knew her sleepy Shadow Broker, then Liara probably had less than one.

The maiden's response was an emphatic silence, confirming Shepard's hunch.

She tucked in her shirt as she rode the lift to the cargo bay. Wrex hadn't been on any away missions, and he'd seemed mollified by the primarch's son's sacrifice in eliminating the threat of the turian bomb. Her tired brain was unable to come up with any reason for the krogan to be calling her at this hour at all, let alone from the bay.

Stepping off the lift did nothing to clear her confusion. Cortez was nowhere to be seen. Not surprising, as he would be off duty at this hour. James was present however, leaning against his workbench with his arms crossed and an "I've got a secret" grin.

Wrex was in the middle of the bay, stomping around a pile of gear that looked like the field equipment she'd taken to Tuchanka. She was certain everything in the pile had been neatly stacked outside shuttle one the last time she'd seen it.

"Shepard!" The krogan turned at her arrival. "What's the meaning of this?" He pointed angrily at the assorted gear.

"Uh, what?" She ran her hand through her hair, nearly swearing when her fingers hit a knot. _'I must look absolutely spectacular,'_ she thought. "What are you talking about, Wrex?", she regrouped.

"This," he pointed more forcefully at the pile. "What were you thinking?"

She approached the pile for a closer look, not understanding what she was missing. "I don't see anything…" she was cut short by Wrex jumping into her path, blocking her way with an outstretched arm.

"Shepard," his tone turned condescending. "You took this gear to Tuchanka. You used it on the surface."

She looked up at him. "Sure," she agreed. "Liara and I were on the surface for three days until I turned command of the site over to Captain Graves. We bivouacked with the other marines and turian survivors until I was convinced the site was secure."

Wrex huffed in frustration at not getting his point across. "And you brought it aboard? You didn't decontaminate it?"

Now she was frustrated. "Kinda tired here, Wrex. Of course it was decontaminated. It'll need to be cleaned before it's stored, but there shouldn't be any bacteria." Although, if there were any bacteria that could survive an Alliance decontamination cycle, it would probably come from Tuchanka, she considered.

"Come here," the krogan approached the equipment he'd piled in the center of the bay. He pointed a thick finger at the synthetic canvas that covered the exterior of the tent she'd shared with Liara. "Look at this."

Shepard looked askance at Wrex as she got closer. "Still don't seen anything."

"Look again," more firmly this time, his finger almost touching the material.

This time she kneeled by the pile, and at the end of his finger, difficult to see against the desert camouflage pattern of the canvas, was an insect. It was perhaps a millimeter long, and moving slowly in the along a crease in the material.

"OK," she looked up from the deck. "It's a bug."

"It's a cinyphak!" He bellowed. "It crawls into the places where you sleep!"

Shepard got to her feet with a chuckle. "Are you kidding, Wrex?" She brushed off her knees as she straightened up. "It's a damn bedbug?"

He towered over her with a growl, "They crawl under your _plates_ , Shepard. You can't get them out."

"Eww," she shivered. "That's disgusting. Let me guess, they bite? They live in there, lay eggs or something?"

"Wha? No, Shepard. Is that how things are on Earth? No wonder you people have so many colonies." He shook his head at the thought. "They itch. They itch until they die. Sometimes it takes a week!"

"Right." Shepard turned and headed back towards the lift. "Sorry about the big, scary bug, Wrex. We'll take care of them before we…" She jumped as her response was interrupted by an echoing blast.

She spun to see her gear on fire, engulfed in flame from the incendiary rounds that Wrex had just fired into it with his shotgun.

"Dammit, Wrex. That stuff's expensive." And it wasn't like equipment was easy to replace these days.

Wrex's look was unrepentant.

"I _hate_ itching."


	26. Childhood

**Summary:  
** Benezia spends time with her unusual daughter

 **Notes:  
** Challenge Yourself: A Month Of Fanfiction 2017  
Thursday 8/31's prompt: A gift fic  
Daniscats wanted to see some of Liara's childhood

* * *

"Parnitha was a gloriously warm beacon. She dominated the sky, holding the majority of clouds to the horizon even this late in the season. The black sands of the beach drank in the heat, held it, then released it back into the sky with joyous abandon. The warm breeze off the M'datari Sea topped off an expression of summer that dominated the few dozen asari who had trekked to the beach from the estate proper.

Despite the preeminence of summer, the proximity of the upcoming solstice added a hint of chance in the air. A touch of possibility that was carried on the otherwise friendly gusts.

Benezia's attention was on her daughter. The child had spent much of the afternoon walking slowly up and down the beach. The youngster had paced slowly, deliberately. Benezia was reminded of nothing more than a matriarch on the Conclave giving a particularly austere oration. Liara had a similar air about her, one that spoke of a position that others disagreed with, but that the speaker felt was critical to convey.

Alaya stepped up beside her lady. "Peeress," she began. "Matriarch Heulphea has called _again_ ," she stressed the last. "She insists that she speak with you."

The regal Head of House T'Soni didn't even dignify the request by turning her head. "No. The premier takes enough of my time, and Armali is in no danger if Heulphea is delayed in asking me her request of the moment." She turned when Alaya did not respond. "I am spending the day with my daughter." She tilted her head for emphasis. "Was I not clear?"

Her transgression emphasized, Alaya stepped back from Benezia's side. "Apologies, Peeress. I shall inform Heulphea of some available times in your schedule." She turned and walked away from the small rise upon which Benezia stood.

The matriarch ignored Alaya's departure, her eyes again on Liara, who was now examining the various tools and implements that the commandos had brought from the estate. In the four hours that they had so far spent on the beach, Liara had examined each, then lay them aside. Shovels, picks, trowels, and rock hammers had been arranged by size and configuration, then not touched again. Now Liara was squatting amongst them, lifting each as if testing them for weight. She made small marks in the sand with a few, but then returned them to their position on the beach.

The child stood again, with a small shake of her head. She turned to look at her mother, resplendent in a yellow dress, the semi-metallic fabric sparkling in the sunlight. The sight brought a smile to Liara's face before the serious demeanor she'd carried all afternoon reasserted itself.

She turned away, and started pacing down the beach again. Occasionally she would pause for a moment, examining something at her feet, but her overall progress took her further and further away from her mother. The commandos tasked with her safety followed just far enough away to avoid the outburst that Liara had demonstrated more often of late.

An unobtrusive movement of Benezia's fingers brought Isyrzea to her side.

"Yes, Peeress?" The lieutenant in charge of the matriarch's protection detail pitched her voice just loudly enough to be heard over the wind and surf.

"How much time do we have?"

Of all the constraints on the matriarch's time, Isyrzea knew it was the weather that Benezia referred to. "At least an hour, Peeress."

"At least an hour," repeated the matriarch. The afternoon felt a bit less temperamental than that, but she also knew that Isyrzea would err on the side of caution. Isyrzea was atypically conservative for a huntress, which is why she was in charge of her and Liara's safety.

"Liara seems unimpressed by our efforts," Benezia confided as her daughter continued to walk away from them. "This afternoon was meant to be about her. I expected that she would be up to her elbows in one of her 'excavations' by now." _'With far less damage to the grounds than usual,'_ was the unspoken continuation of that thought. The youngster's play at seeking ancient artifacts was particularly hard on the gardens.

"Perhaps because there is no risk involved." The lieutenant was serene under Benezia's gaze. "Sanctioned activity may not hold the same excitement of attempting to avoid discovery."

That was possible, Benezia conceded, even if the suggestion was likely tainted by the bias to action of a huntress. If true, it could explain Liara's current behavior, but the matriarch didn't believe it to be so. He daughter was frightfully intelligent, and extremely strong willed. It was a daunting combination for any parent, but she did not see her daughter as a thrill seeker.

She nodded dismissal to Isyrzea, as she left her observation point, and started down towards the water. She could hear Isyrzea behind her, issuing direction that would keep her firmly inside the protective envelope provided by the house commandos.

Liara also noticed as the huntresses at the periphery of her vision changed position to allow them to continue protecting her mother. To be able to gauge her mother's position based on the locations of the members of her protection detail was a skill that the T'Soni heir had learned at an early age. Benezia watched as her daughter's path began to slowly curve, eventually allowing the child to lay eyes on her without Liara actually turning her head. The child's steps were just a _little_ faster as she changed direction back towards where she now stood next to the pile of garden tools, her mouth _almost_ turned up into a smile. Benezia might not always understand her unusual daughter, but there was love there, and it was reciprocated.

Liara stopped a few steps away from her, timid as always about demonstrating affection when they were not alone.

"Mother," the single word implied so much that went unspoken between them.

"Little Wing." Benezia tried to reinforce the rare informality of the occasion.

"Do we have to go in?" There was a wistful note in Liara's voice.

"Is that what you wish? I thought you'd spend more time digging and less time prospecting."

Liara's mouth opened the briefest of moments. "Digging?"

 _'She's much too young to have learned to roll her eyes like that,'_ considered Benezia as she wondered where her daughter had learned that boorish behavior. "I often find you digging," offered Benezia. "That was why I had these brought with us," the matriarch toed a shovel at her feet. "I had hoped that it would make the afternoon more enjoyable for you."

"In _sand_?" Liara's incredulous tone intensified. "What would I find in sand?"

"I thought it would be easier to dig through." Best not to voice her original hope that Liara could pretend the occasional seashell was one of the artifacts she so desperately sought.

"Mother," now Liara's voice took on the condescending tone of the adolescent she was so close to becoming, "This sand was not even here hundreds of years ago. What artifacts would I find?"

The cultured politician was washed away under a wave of indignant mother. "What artifacts do you expect to find in my flowerbeds?"

Liara's eyes fell to the ground between them.

Benezia closed her eyes as she sought the patience her race was known for. "But... you might find something, yes?"

Liara looked up, daring to hope.

"Perhaps this expedition _would_ be better suited to the estate grounds."

Liara visibly perked up at her words.

"You have a specific location in mind?"

The child nodded.

"Is it my flowerbeds?"

Liara practically radiated innocence.

Benezia sighed as she looked towards the horizon. "Then we shall, but not today." She continued before Liara could interrupt her. "We will resume this tomorrow."

"But Mother…"

"Little Wing, there is a storm coming."

"I am not afraid of a storm," insisted Liara.

"I know, Little Wing. I know."


	27. Debt

**Summary:  
**

As Thessia begins to recover from the War, Sarah reverts to form by lamenting those she couldn't save.  
Liara suggests a method of assuaging that guilt.

 **Notes:**

Written in partnership with the amazing **Daniscats**!

This drabble would take place before 'Dejected"  
I've placed a list of all the drabbles at: bit-dot-ly/Drabbles so readers can have a reference for their chronological order

* * *

The estate was quiet in a way that someone who hadn't lived with a staff of hundreds would never suspect. Quiet enough that Liara was convinced she could hear her own heartbeat. Quiet enough that she could sense Shepard's absence even without the benefit of their connection.

She sighed, swinging her feet to the floor. She left the comfort of the bed behind, only stopping long enough to collect her _hi'daa_ , pulling it loosely around her before exiting their suite.

Some house personnel were always awake of course, no matter the hour. Even without the consideration of security, House T'Soni did business on every Council world, and across every time zone on Thessia. Those functions did not require Liara's direct involvement, and she knew better than to expect that any of her personal staff would be available unless she called for them.

As for those assigned or sworn to Shepard, well, Liara would be surprised if Denai weren't skulking around somewhere in case Sarah needed her. Sometimes she wondered if the matron ever slept.

Her people knew her routines well. No one intruded upon her solitude as she made her way through the residence. Her bare feet tread silently on the warm stone, making no sound. There was no obvious indication, but she knew she was being watched all the same. She understood the need. She never cared about her own safety as much as when she became responsible for the wellbeing of those she loved. Where once she would have been horrified at the cost and resources spent on her security, now she accepted the necessity. One more thing that she understood about Benezia's life, far too late for her to share that newfound understanding with her.

There were no guests at the estate, the many bedrooms and suites undisturbed. The library was empty, as was what had been her mother's study, which Shepard had claimed for her models. Aethyta was traveling, one of her secretive trips where Liara pretended not to know what business her father was up to. Otherwise her rooms would have been an obvious place for Sarah to seek refuge. Liara often found her bondmate and her father together, the human and asari demonstrating their affection through inordinate amounts of abuse. Nowhere was there sign of the human, so Liara continued on, finally making her way to the main staircase.

A brief visit to the kitchen confirmed what her nose already knew. There was no coffee brewing, none of Shepard's beloved stimulant, warm and waiting.

Liara sighed again. There were a few places inside the house she might still check. One of the gyms perhaps, or one of the entertainment suites with the larger vidscreens. Both unlikely at this hour.

Shepard was gregarious, as anyone who ever accepted one of her overtures at conversation was well aware. But she was also considerate, meaning she wouldn't have roused someone just to have someone to talk to. Liara shook her head. She again wished that when Sarah couldn't sleep, she would rouse _her_.

That was the point, to be there for each other. They had discussed it in roundabout ways in the past, and Shepard had agreed with her, only to immediately fall back into old habits. Liara knew that this particular habit was born years ago, before the War, when a young woman lost everyone and learned to rely only on herself, keeping everyone at a distance.

It had worked for her for years but it would not work now. It was a habit that would need to be broken if they hoped to get through this. Together was the only way forward. That was why Iadri was here, why Liara arranged for Karin to call so regularly. Nightmares or no, Sarah continued to deny the wounds the war had left on her psyche. Wounds that might have crushed a lesser will, let alone one that had already endured so much. The death of her parents. Elysium. Her own death. She would smile, and wave off the concerns of others, asking what she could do for them instead.

Behaviors which failed her when night fell and sleep wouldn't come. When the voices of the dead where the only sounds she could hear.

The thought stopped the maiden cold, even as it gave her an idea. Shepard would suffer in solitude, but she wouldn't suffer in silence. The all-encompassing quiet of the estate is what Sarah would seek escape from.

Before she could act on her realization, Denai was at her elbow.

"Good morning, Peeress," she said quietly. "Tea?"

' _Goddess,'_ thought Liara. And she'd thought her mother had been obtrusive. "No, thank you, Denai," she replied as if meeting Shepard's _princeps_ in the kitchen happened in the middle of every night.

The matron nodded her response, uncommonly offering _lidifemea,_ likely in an attempt to set Liara at ease. "Coffee will likely assist in calming Sarah, and since I was going to make some anyway..."

"In that case I would be grateful for some tea."

Denai nodded as she turned back to the kitchen.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

The night was warm, which was fortunate, as Liara couldn't spare a hand to tighten her robe. There was a light breeze as she crossed the great lawn on her way to the cliffs overlooking the sea, carefully carrying a mug of hot liquid in each hand.

Shepard, her destination, had been visible from the moment she's stepped outside. Her pale skin practically shining in the starlight. She was seated at the edge of the bluffs, looking out over the ocean as she often did.

The Nasrya Sea often held Sarah's attention when she wasn't working or otherwise dealing with the aftereffects of the War for the galaxy she'd saved, but which still came to her to solve all its problems. Growing up on a farm, it was the only ocean she'd ever known, other than 2181 Despoina.

Normally Liara left her to those introspective moments, as they seemed to bring her bondmate peace.

But they also didn't normally occur an hour after midnight.

The maiden sat down in the grass to Shepard's left, hesitant to have Sarah on the side with her prosthetic leg. Her bondmate seemed particularly sensitive this evening, and Liara knew that she'd never stopped blaming herself for Liara's injury.

Liara herself paid it no mind. Her transplant would be fully grown in another twenty-five months or so. Teaching an asari's highly aggressive immune system not to reject it was going to be far more of an inconvenience than the artificial leg she now wore. Her prosthetic felt as real to her as the leg it replaced, with only the slight mismatch of color communicating that it wasn't the limb she'd been born with.

Sarah accepted the coffee without comment, but did move slightly, until she was in contact with Liara from hip to shoulder. Liara was relieved. It meant she wouldn't have to fight her way through any initial attempts at rejection.

They watched the ocean together in silence. Liara waited until she felt that Shepard was as calm as she could be, without facing the cause of her distress.

"Hello, Shepard." It was the way so many of their conversations began.

"Hey Liara." Sarah nuzzled Liara's shoulder affectionately. Liara warmed to the attention, even though she knew that there was at least some attempt to distract her in it.

"It's late." Small moves, as not to cause Sarah to raise her defenses too quickly.

"Sorry," Shepard murmured in response as she turned away. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I would never miss an opportunity to spend time with my bondmate," replied Liara before taking a sip of her tea.

Shepard chuckled. "You're getting better at this. I almost believe you."

"It's the truth." Liara sighed. "I've had to become very good at lying, Shepard. I hope to never have to show you precisely how skilled I've become."

"Well, you don't have to pretend you want to be out here, Liara. I couldn't sleep. No big deal." She patted Liara's leg. "I'll come in shortly."

' _Let the denial begin,'_ thought Liara.

"What brings you out here? Not that it isn't lovely."

"Like I said. Couldn't sleep. I was thinking about that lieutenant. Kurin. From the mission for the asari beacon."

As If Liara could forget one of the many missions that almost cost her her bondmate and where she feared she had lost her world forever as well.

"I remember," Liara prompted Sarah to continue.

"I browbeat her into holding their position, into letting us through."

"It was her job, Shepard."

"I got her killed."

"Many people died that day Shepard. And the day after. And the day after that. Are they your fault as well?"

"No, but she was."

"Without going to the beacon, we never would have found Vendetta, never deployed the Crucible, or learned the nature of the Catalyst."

"There's always another way."

"Shepard. The other way was galactic extinction. Kurin died. That is indeed a tragedy, but Thessia survived. Armali survived. The entire asari race... survived." Shepard was staring silently out into the ocean, so Liara took her by the chin and turned her towards herself. "Look at me Shepard. What would you think of the Lieutenant if giving her life would have saved the asari race, would have saved _me_ ," she fought dirty here, "but she refused to make the sacrifice her oath required of her?"

"I'd understand that..."

"Bullshit Shepard," interrupted Liara, proud for a moment at how Sarah started at Liara's use of the human vulgarity. "I've been inside that beautiful head of yours, and I would not want to be the person you blamed for my death, no matter why, how, or for what justification. I've been on the other side of that equation too, much to the Shadow Broker's chagrin. Wars have losses. I understand your guilt, but it is not justified."

Shepard just stared at her, incredulous. "Liara, I…"

Liara took Shepard's face in her hands, and silenced her with a kiss. When she stopped, she continued holding her close, talking against her mouth.

"Shepard. I'm going to tell Iadri that you've been having trouble sleeping again. Please talk to her, or she'll want another series of healing melds."

"I hate healing melds," pouted Sarah.

"I know, love." Liara kissed her again. "And while you do that for me, I will find out if the lieutenant has any surviving family. People who might want to hear from the Savior of the Galaxy that their loved one's life wasn't spent in vain, but had a demonstrable impact in ending the war. That she was a hero who held her post when it mattered."

"It wouldn't matter to me if you died a hero," argued Sarah.

"I'm not doing this for them, Shepard. I'm doing this for you."

Shepard nodded agreement. "Either way, that's a good idea. It never occurred to me to reach out to her family. It's the right thing to do. To see if they are doing okay, and helping them if they need it." She kissed Liara this time. "And here I thought I married you for your looks."

"You are a person of action, Shepard. You'll feel better if you face this."

"You're right. I love it. You find out if she has any surviving family, and I'll see them first thing in the morning."

" _After_ you talk to Iadri, Shepard."

"Aww..."

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Shepard studied the datapad that contained the information on Elanyha, Kurin's daughter. The maiden was Kurin's only child and the only known survivor of the lieutenant's family. The file contained the usual information that Shepard had come to associate with a "Shadow Broker" working profile. The file was clear, well organized, and had entirely too much information.

She skimmed through pages of personal data. Everything from the child's birthday, to her grades in school, and her apparent lack of romantic encounters – not surprising for a maiden her age. Shepard slowed when she reached a set of images of the young asari and her mother. Pre-war, obviously, but by how much Shepard couldn't be certain. Kurin looked as Shepard remembered, and if she'd been human, she would have guessed the daughter at somewhere around fourteen or fifteen. They seemed happy.

When Sarah looked up from the pair, the view that greeted her was far less tranquil. Instead of a proud mother with her child, she now found herself face to face with three frustrated asari.

Sarah had originally insisted on going alone to visit the 65-year-old maiden, but had finally compromised when Liara threatened to send a complete honor guard to accompany her. So now they were standing outside, next to their aircar, parked in one of the newly reconstructed parts of Dassus.

Dust and the noise of machinery filled the air. The sounds of reconstruction were everywhere. Asari of all ages were visible in every direction. Huge machines of different types could be seen recycling debris, carrying materials, raising buildings. Shepard thought the majority of the workers that she could see looked tired, but hopeful.

They were nearly a kilometer from her destination, a large newly-built apartment complex near what had once been an outlying part of the city. Now, the area was bustling with activity, the former downtown considered to be still too radioactive to reclaim after some older ships with fusion drives crashed there while trying to defend the city.

Sarah shook her head to focus. Her bondmate was trying to argue with her, and unfortunately for the angry maiden, Shepard thought Liara was adorable when she tried to take a stern tone with her.

Denai and Eliata watched with trepidation, Liara and Shepard's interaction doing nothing to allay their suspicion that this endeavor was fated to end badly.

Recognizing that Shepard was again paying attention, Liara took a deep breath to begin again.

"Shepard. You are presenting her with an offer of support from House T'Soni. There is a formality to this. It would be unheard of for you to go to someone's home alone, without even an escort."

"Come on, Liara, you said it yourself. She's just a kid. And she's the kid of a low-level military officer with no connection to one of the Houses. I don't want to make this any more difficult by having an entourage and turning it into something official. This is going to be upsetting enough for her. I need to do this right."

"Yes, she is a child but she is also asari. To say that she will be stunned to see a patrician of a great House on her doorstep would be an understatement. To see that patrician standing alone, without an accompaniment, will not make this better. It will be confusing and unnerving for her." Liara cast about for a comparison. "How would you react if the prime minister of the Alliance showed up to your door unannounced? Or if she offered her support, unasked and without preamble? What would your thoughts be?"

"Which is to say nothing of the fact that this is one of the more crime-ridden regions of Thessia since the War," Denai added, "and it is our duty to protect the members of the House."

Shepard held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. You can wait inside the building if you want, but I'm still going to her apartment alone." She turned from Denai. "Liara, this was your idea. You were the one to say that facing this will help me so here I am, facing it. Do we have to make it even more difficult than it already is? I've gotta tell this kid how her mother died. This isn't going to be easy for either of us."

Liara considered for a moment and then sighed in resigned acceptance.

"Fine, Shepard. Denai and I will accompany you inside the building. Eliata, you remain outside, and position yourself as you deem necessary."

"Yes, Peeress."

"Outstanding." Shepard turned away from the others and started towards the building, her shoulders back, her face determined.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

A half hour later, Shepard was sitting in the modest apartment of the young asari from the photos, sitting across from her. Elanyha shared it with three other asari of similar age, who left immediately upon recognizing the maiden's visitor.

Shepard was doing her best to finish her depiction of events sympathetically, but without becoming too emotional. Her audience was already wiping tears from her face while Shepard described the details of the mission.

"So, then your mother stayed behind, she and her platoon providing a rear guard while my team continued on to the temple. Without them at our back, we never would have made it. Once we reached the temple and... ' _utterly failed in our mission_ ', Shepard thought bitterly before continuing. "After we finished at the temple, we tried to contact them to coordinate evac from the hot zone, but we couldn't make contact." Shepard looked down for a moment. "We saw her location overrun by reapers. One landed almost directly on her squad's position." She shook her head. "There was no further communication from her or her squad after that."

She looked up, meeting the maiden's eyes. "I'm not telling you this because I want to cause you pain. I know that there's nothing I can say to take away your loss. But I wanted you to know that your mother died a hero. Thessia, and the entire galaxy, were saved because we were able to make it to that temple, and we were only able to complete our mission because your mother and her team were able to watch our back."

The young maiden looked at Shepard through tear filled eyes.

"So, when you went back to their location, were the any survivors? Did you...see her body? Was she killed instantly? Did she suffer or..." She trailed off.

The maiden couldn't finish her questions, overcome with emotion. Shepard waited quietly, giving the youngster the time she needed to collect herself, before she continued. How could she make her understand?

"I don't know the answers to those questions." Shepard quietly responded when Elanyha regained her composure. "The reaper attack was escalating rapidly. We didn't have any air support. We had to evac or be overrun ourselves. If we didn't get out quickly, we would have lost..."

"What?!" The young asari's facial expression changed from sadness to anger in an instant. "You didn't even go back to check if she was still alive?!"

"I know It's difficult to understand, but it was obvious from our position that NOTHING could have survived at that location. If we had tried to go back, we would have been killed ourselves. It would have cost us the mission. It would have cost us the galaxy. Then NONE of us would be here. That's how important this mission was."

"The mission? The MISSION?! Who cares about your mission? That was my mother, you coward!" Screamed the maiden. "You left her behind to save yourself? You didn't even TRY? You could have saved her! If your ship could evac you, they could have evacuated her!"

Shepard took a deep breath, allowing the young asari to continue.

"You sacrificed her! She meant nothing to you! She was a tool to accomplish your mission and that's ALL you cared about. You might as well have killed her yourself!"

Shepard continued to sit silently, her face a stone, not even trying to defend herself from the verbal onslaught. _'She's right. I deserve this. I deserve this and more.'_

"You're no hero! A hero would have saved the people who helped her. You're just a fraud. You're just a..."

The maiden's voice trailed off as she began sobbing again. Shepard let her go for a few moments before she continued.

"I don't blame you for hating me. It's okay if you hate me. I'm not here for your forgiveness and I don't deserve it anyway." Shepard stopped for a moment to get her voice under control again. "I'm here for two reasons. I wanted you to know what a hero your mother was. She was a brave soldier who stood her ground against an impossible enemy," _'after I browbeat her into sacrificing herself_.' "And I wanted to make sure that the daughter of that hero was provided for. That she has what she needs to have a good life, so that she can someday have daughters of her own. House T'Soni is going to pay your living and educational expenses for the next fifty years. There are no strings attached." Shepard admonished herself. "There is nothing that you need to do in return."

Shepard placed a datapad on the table in front of her and pushed it in front of the sobbing maiden. The asari's look of anguish gave way to a look of confusion as she looked at the datapad, completely unable to understand what Shepard was saying to her. She looked at the pad uncomprehending for long moments until the look of fury returned.

"Goddess, you're as arrogant as people say. Fuck you! You come here trying to be the hero? Buy my forgiveness? Rescue me from my life? You offer credits for the life of my mother?" She spun the datapad around, so it faced Shepard. "That's the value you place on my mother's life? You're not even close. She was worth ten of you. You couldn't afford to pay back what you've taken from me."

"You're right. Like I said, there isn't anything I can say to lessen your loss. There is nothing I can give you that will bring your mother back. But I can give you resources so that you at least don't have to worry about the material support you lost when your mother died."

"Get out!" The asari stood, her biotics flaring. "Get out and take your blood money with you!"

"As you wish." Shepard stood and moved towards the door. The datapad hit her in the back when she got there.

.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.o0o.

Liara and Denai were standing in the small common area outside Elanyha's apartment when Shepard bolted out the door and stormed past them. Without a word, Shepard ran past the lift and entered the stairwell. Denai moved to pursue her, but paused when she saw that Liara was not following.

"Follow her, please, Denai. As far as she goes." Liara closed her eyes briefly. "But do not attempt to stop her. I need to have a word with this Elanyha."

Denai hesitated for the briefest of moments but then turned to catch up with Sarah.

Liara waited calmly until Denai was out of sight before walking to the apartment that Shepard has just vacated. After pausing to see if her presence had been noticed, she signaled for entry. After a slow count to ten, she signaled again.

This time the door burst open, revealing the young maiden that Liara recognized from her research.

"I told you to go!" Elanyha shouted before realizing who she faced, cutting off the last word so hard that Liara heard her bring her teeth together. It only took the youngster a moment to regroup.

"I already told your human, _Peeress_ ," she stressed the honorific dismissively. "I don't want your money."

She tried to close the door, but found it blocked by an unobtrusive movement of Liara's boot. She looked up and met the older maiden's eyes.

"You forget your manners, Young One." Liara's voice was ice as she addressed Elanyha in High Attena. "A guest is at your door. Invite them in."

"You are no _guest_!" The maiden spat out the word. "Just someone else trying to take control of my life. This is as much your fault as anyone else's. Benezia practically started the war. Without her and Saren, your arrogant human wouldn't need to buy me off, and my mother would still be alive!"

She tried to close the door again, but Liara stopped it with a palm.

"We have business, Elanyha. We can conduct it now, or we can conduct it later. The choice is entirely up to you, but if I am forced to return, I will not be alone, and I will not be happy."

"Fine." Elanyha turned away, allowing the door to fully open. She threw herself onto her couch.

"Say what you want and get out."

Liara moved to stand over the younger maiden.

"Get. Up."

Elanyha just glared in return, as Liara stood silently over her. A minute passed. Two. Finally, Elanyha lowered her eyes and stood sullenly, continuing not to make eye contact.

Liara brought her hands together, Elanyha's reluctant obedience causing her to act on a hunch.

"I am Maiden Liara T'Soni, Head of House T'Soni, and daughter of Benezia," she began in High Attena, "I greet you Maiden Elanyha..."

"Saios, Peeress," her tone still churlish, but the address no longer expressed as an insult. "My family name is Saios."

"I know, Elanyha. It is an honorable name. Your family has served Thessia for generations." She indicated the couch the girl had just vacated. "Sit."

Elanyha hesitated before continuing. "My home is yours," she muttered under her breath before motioning to the opposite couch where Shepard was seated earlier. "Please be comfortable. I have little to offer, but I share it all." She glanced over her shoulder at a kitchen that Liara was certain was practically empty. "May I get you something?"

Liara sat while reining in the beginnings of a smile, working to keep her stern visage. The youth's High Attena was atrocious, but she was conducting herself well, given the circumstance. "I am fine, thank you." She wasn't about to force Elanyha to choose between serving a guest or being able to eat today.

The younger maiden sat, back straight, eyes off to Liara's left. The girl was obviously torn between the insult she wanted to offer, and the behavior that she knew was right. The mother had done well by this child. Liara was not unaware of the irony in the fact that Kurin had probably spent more time directly instructing her daughter than Benezia had.

"Maiden Elanyha," began Liara, keeping their interaction more formal for the moment. "May I assume, given how my bondmate left your home, that you chose not to accept my _lioeia_?" Liara deliberately used the Attena word implying an offering towards an unpayable debt.

Liara watched Elanyha struggle with a response that would keep her inside the realm of propriety. She almost succeeded.

"The memory of my mother is not for sale, Peeress," she finally replied.

"No. It is not. Nor am I trying to purchase it."

"Good, because I don't want your money." The youth managed to maintain a civil tone, but was no longer trying to avoid speaking her mind.

"Nor am I offering you any. However, I do owe Lieutenant Kurin a debt. The payment of that debt, like any other of her assets, falls to you."

"My mother had no assets to speak of, and your bondmate made sure she never had the chance to collect on any debt. I don't have her, and I don't need you."

"That is a rather selfish position."

"Not letting your bondmate buy her way out of being guilty? I'll find some way to live with it."

"My bondmate will never stop feeling guilt over the losses in the war, but she is not to whom I refer. What of your roommates? Your friends? They share a similar circumstance. Making it through the War through taking refuge in official shelters, only to find themselves without family or clan once the War was over. The four of you together can barely afford this apartment. This assistance would help them as well."

" _How do you know this?"_

Liara held out a datapad, similar to the one Shepard had placed on the table.

"This is the history of your family. All of it. You descend from a line of warriors going back more than ten thousand years. Perhaps, if you read this history, you will better understand why your mother did what she did. Perhaps you will understand why she chose to become a huntress herself. Perhaps you might even find a way to get over your anger at her for leaving you."

Elanyha ignored the pad. "It wasn't her choice."

"Now you argue she lacked autonomy?"

"No! That's not what I…"

"Do you think your mother would have wanted to be saved, if it meant losing the war? That she didn't know what she was doing? That she wouldn't sacrifice herself willingly for the smallest chance it might save lives? That it might save your life? This is how you honor her memory? Pushing away that which she would have wanted for you?" Liara shook her head. "It becomes obvious to me that you still require the care and direction that you would be getting from a parent."

Elanyha leapt to her feet. "Who the fuck do you think…" All pretense at respect gone now.

Liara stood as well. "Shepard said before that there were not any actions that you needed to perform in return, now there are."

"Get out."

Liara nodded. "I will. You will accompany me."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I disagree. Pack your belongings. You will be returning to the estate with me. Once you're settled, we'll arrange for you to resume your studies."

"You don't have the right!"

"I have every right. All the provinces are starved for resources. I believe that you are receiving assistance from Dassus in order to pay your rent, to eat? The Matriarchs here will not object that House T'Soni has offered to provide room, board, and education for four adolescent maidens."

"So I'm a child, is that it? That means you can do whatever you want with me?"

"Within some limits, yes," agreed Liara.

"And if I refuse?"

"Then the stipend that you and your friends receive in exchange for your assistance with the rebuilding efforts will end", Liara said sternly.

"You...you can't do that. I'll just get a job!"

"You have no skills and little education. The businesses that have reopened will have little use for you and your friends."

"There's always jobs that don't require much skill. Get tea, file records, answer comms..."

"And there are millions of older maidens with more skills and more education begging for such positions already."

"And when I'm an adult?" She challenged, her demeanor now deflated.

"If you still desire to hate me, to hate Shepard, then so be it." Liara dropped the datapad onto the table with a loud smack of finality.

"But you will not be doing it from a position of ignorance." She nodded towards the bedrooms.

"Get your things."


	28. Finders Keepers

**Summary:  
** Shepard's been drinking. Liara goes to collect her.

 **Notes:  
** For the Mass Effect Sunday Sprint Drabble on 8 Jan 2017  
Starting Sentence: "Don't make this any harder than it has to be!"

* * *

"Do not make this any harder than it has to be." Liara was tapping her foot impatiently.

"The boss says no."

The asari held up her arm, biotic tendrils dancing along its length. "Do you know who I am?"

The turian leaned forward, mandibles flaring in an approximation of a grin. "I don't care who you are lady. The boss says no. Back the fuck off unless you want your pretty head detached from your shoulders."

Liara's smile would have terrified a lesser man, or at least a smarter one. "I suppose your boss does not like you a great deal. This is your last chance." She drew back her arm in preparation to "slap his ass with a singularity" as her father would say.

"Let her through." Although the tension between the two didn't dissipate, it dropped a notch at the voice. Aria had never looked up, her practiced apathy obvious in her tone. The maiden's struggle had been amusing, but she wasn't willing to lose one of her more loyal guards just to see what Shepard's pet asari had been willing to do.

Liara stepped around the turian and down the pair of steps leading to the couch. The man followed a step behind.

"Not bad Baby Broker. How many places did you look before coming to me?"

None of course, but the last thing that Liara was going to do was admit to the Queen of Omega that she had her under constant surveillance.

"Missing something?" Aria prompted when Liara failed to respond.

"I am only here for Shepard," Liara addressed Aria at last.

Aria looked down, acknowledging Shepard's presence for the first time. The human was laying across the couch with her head on Aria's lap. Copper stands obscured the woman's face. Shepard appeared to be sucking on some of them. "You have a very tired girl here. Perhaps we should let her sleep."

"She can sleep on the Normandy, or back at the apartment." Honestly, Liara had no idea how Shepard was able to sleep through the pounding beat that surrounded them in Purgatory.

"She can, but she chose here. I wonder why that is?" The question could have been rhetorical, but Liara knew it was directed at her.

"She has been drinking. You were her nearest friend. The closest place she felt safe."

Aria's eyes became slits. "I am not her friend, but she can be convenient. It's almost worth tolerating the stench of booze and desperate maiden." She paused. "That does not make her safe," she stressed the last word as she laid a hand across Shepard's shoulder possessively, "but she can remain with me for a time. It isn't like she has all that much."

Anger flashed in Liara's eyes. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Aria shrugged. "She's human. They're in a constant state of decay."

"She believes she is your friend." Liara knew that Aria was trying to provoke her, but she found herself responding anyway.

Aria only grunted. "I don't need friends."

Maybe she even believed it. Liara didn't care. "Then I will take her and go." She stepped forward.

Instantly there was a sharp jab to her head, just behind her right aural. The turian she'd passed pressing a carnifex tightly against her skull.

"You need to stay right there."

Aria smiled. Liara sighed.

Aria hadn't even had time for a caustic remark before she was painted in dozens of target points. Felnus, and Sedimi, her asari guard still at the top of the stairs were equally marked.

The Queen of Omega settled deeper into the couch, steepling her fingers.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Liara didn't hesitate. "Yes."

If Aria was bothered by being in the sights of so many weapons, the matriarch didn't show it. "Nothing happens in here unless I allow it. I was aware that you had agents in the club."

But not all of them, Liara knew. She'd had the sense to not have them all reveal themselves. The possibility of facing Aria had caused her to apply one of Shepard's well-worn maxims; "There's no kill like overkill."

Aria continued to ignore the standoff, returning her attention to Shepard. "So innocent, so trusting." She looked up at Liara. "Does she even know the things you do for her? Have done in her name? It might change her perception of the lovesick maiden who follows her around."

Liara's reply was interrupted by motion in Aria's lap. Shepard snorted, and lifted her head, blurry eyed.

"Pretty isn't everything, is it?" Aria commented as Shepard wiped her mouth. The human squinted as she worked to bring the room into focus. "She drooled on my pants."

Shepard turned her head at Aria's voice, sitting up slightly. Liara drew a sharp breath when the spectre's head passed through several of the targeting lights. "See? I told you she'd come for me." The human slurred. Shepard turned her sleepy smile from Aria to Liara. "I love her." There was an embarrassing amount of emotion in the comment. She curled her legs up tightly, making room at the end of the couch. "C'mere."

Liara locked her gaze on Aria, who looked passively back. "Well?" She waved Felnus back to his post. "Don't just stand there, she 'loves' you."

Targeting lights went out one after the other. The very last having been between Aria's eyes. After a moment Liara just sighed to herself. _'Goddess.'_

She proceeded to seat herself at the end of Aria's couch, as far from the other asari as the length of the couch would allow.

Shepard immediately flipped over, burying her head into Liara's lap while splaying her legs across Aria's.

Aria made a disgusted sound as she pushed the human's legs off her. Her victory was short lived before Shepard put them back. Push, return. Push, return. Aria was ready to hit the annoying human with a throw when Liara's hand came up as well. The pair locked eyes for the second time in as many minutes when the impasse was interrupted by Shepard. The spectre grabbed Liara's hand and brought it down to the back of her own head, forcing it into her hair.

Liara continued to glare at Aria, even intensifying it as she began stroking Shepard's hair. Aria snorted as she turned away. "You two are pathetic."

"And you let her drool on your pants. Do you do that with everyone you find 'convenient'?"

"You'd hate to know what I do with people I find inconvenient."

They sat in silence for a time, surrounded by the pounding music.

"She isn't the ideal you think she is. She is violence. She is destruction."

Liara nodded. "We have fought together. Many times."

"She's a killer."

"She is a soldier, a vanguard."

"She's a murderer. She let me kill Petrovsky in cold blood."

"I know."

"Not the kind of thing you do for a 'friend' Baby Broker, that's the kind of thing you talk friends out of. That is if virtue and mercy are truly what you stand for."

Liara considered for a while. "He took Omega from you."

"Yes," through clenched teeth.

"That was not theft, that was not banishment, not for you." Liara waited for a response. When none came, she continued. "You are Omega," Liara parroted her words back to her. "What Petrovsky did was not a crime of property, it was rape. Shepard knew that, knew what you needed to heal."

Eventually a response. "I should kill you for that."

"You could try."

They fell back into silence. The pair sat there for a while, long enough for the music to become repetitive. Liara continued to rub Shepard's hair as the human snored gently, face pressed into Liara's abdomen. Aria thought they were ridiculous until she realized she didn't know how long she'd been stroking the human's calf.

"You want a drink?"

"Please."


	29. Sweet Dreams

**Summary:  
** A quiet night on the Normandy isn't as quiet as Shepard expected.

 **Notes:  
** Facebook group drabble challenge.  
Prompt = "Songs and Music".

* * *

The Normandy was quiet.

Shepard wandered through the crew deck carrying a cup of coffee. She took a sip as she paused in front of the medbay. The coffee was acceptable even if the Cerberus logo on the mug was not.

She considered going in for a moment, but decided to let Chakwas sleep. The doctor didn't need to hear her commander's tale of woe. Didn't need to hear how she felt lost and abandoned. How Thessia was supposed to have been her path to Liara, but while the familiarity of the estate had been comforting, Liara's absence felt even more pronounced there than it had aboard the ship. Karin would remind her that she should be grateful just to be alive. She was grateful, but she also felt disconnected and used.

A few dozen aimless steps left her in front of her XO's office. Miranda was no doubt awake, probably watching her this very moment, but the Cerberus operative's company was most definitely not what she sought during her sleepless roaming.

She found herself drifting back to the elevator, but when she entered it, she selected the CIC instead of returning to her cabin.

As Sarah stepped out into the CIC she was again struck at how empty this new ship felt. At 216 meters long she was just over twice the volume of the old Normandy, and just under twice the mass. The original Normandy had never felt crowded, but with 52 crew members on board, she never felt empty. The 36 members of the crew on the SR-2 were barely enough to make the ship feel occupied, particularly just after oh two hundred.

This Cerberus crew maintained no illusion of following Alliance protocols, but most maritime practices were followed all the same. The officer of the deck was leaning against the ship's status display, just forward of Kelly Chamber's station. He nodded at Shepard as she shuffled past, returning his attention to his omni-tool when she didn't respond.

There were no other crew visible as she circled the CIC, but it was as she passed in front of the command deck that she heard it. There was a voice, barely audible over the background hum of engines and life support.

 _"Lay thee down now and rest."_

Intrigued, Shepard reversed direction and stepped up onto the command deck and started towards the cockpit. As she approached, the voice became more distinct.

 _"Bright angels beside_

 _My darling abide._

 _They will guard thee at rest."_

The voice stopped as she entered the cockpit.

There, in his command couch, was Joker, fast asleep. Sarah wasn't surprised. He had very little to do until they reached Omega, which wasn't for two more days. She also knew Joker had often slept in the cockpit on the SR-1 even when his relief was on duty. She hadn't expected this new Normandy would be any different, especially without another pilot on board.

What was a surprise was who else was in the cockpit.

"EDI?" Shepard kept her voice low.

"Shepard."

"I didn't expect your interface would be active."

"I am never offline, Shepard, even when I do not manifest a holographic presence."

Sarah considered her next question, knowing it would make it back to The Illusive Man, but also acknowledging that she didn't care.

"Were you... singing?"

"Yes, Shepard."

Damn literal machines. One question answered. " _Why_ were you singing EDI?"

There was a pause this time before the AI responded. "I have observed that Mister Moreau becomes agitated after the rest of the crew go off duty. I hypothesized that the absence of background conversations contributed to a feeling of isolation. As he tends to become confrontational when I engage him in direct conversation, I tested the effects of talking to him after he would fall asleep. The results were promising."

Shepard took another sip of her coffee. "Results?"

"Mister Moreau would sleep for longer periods, and would behave in a less adversarial manner when awakened."

"So, how did you go from talking to singing?"

"Mister Moreau often has nightmares. Research has proven that soothing music can positively influence cardiac and respiratory function, in addition to improving the quality of sleep."

Shepard was fascinated. She looked down at her sleeping helmsman. "How did you know he was having nightmares?"

"He would awaken by screaming your name, Shepard."

Sarah didn't reply, but after a few moments simply nodded before she turned and left the cockpit.

"Logging you out," she heard before the singing began again.

 _"Lullaby and goodnight..."_


End file.
